Fun, fun, fun!

I'm still here. It's been a busy past few months and I've really fallen out of the habit of blogging. Something about having a new baby and then starting the school year-- I haven't had much time to call my own. But I miss you, dear readers. I miss interacting with you and I miss following you on your blogs. I finally just cleared out my Google Reader to start fresh this morning because I had over 600 unread posts and every time I opened it I felt too overwhelmed to read. I have been busy with important things, but I feel that as long as I don't let it consume me, blogging is important, too. We need each other, don't you think?

It has been hard to get my momentum up, too, because I have so much I can write about and yet nothing seems good enough after letting myself get rusty. So I'll just catch you up on some of what we've been doing without trying to cover everything. And hopefully tomorrow I'll feel like blogging again!:)

One of the lines from The Family: A Proclamation to the World that we have studied and memorized as a family is this one:

Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.

We had a summer without many of the "wholesome recreational activities," due to having a new baby and a c-section.

If it hadn't been for the amazing grandparents, our kids would have probably done nothing all summer but watch television. So we have been making up for lost time in the past month or so.

We took an amazing family reunion vacation to Lake Tahoe in mid-September. The weather was perfect, it felt like we had the lake to ourselves, and the kids had a blast with all their cousins from Jared's side of the family.


We had a family outing last week with grandparents to Apple Hill, a favorite destination in the Sierra foothills. We tried out a few new farms there this year, including one with a pond and paddleboat and a big U-pick orchard; a "fudge farm" where we got to do a little tour and see where they grow the nuts and berries that they use in their candy, as well as decorate our own fudge-covered apples; and a visit to our favorite farm for fresh-pressed cider and apple donuts.


Ian and I also went to the pumpkin farm with his kindergarten class this week. The kids whose parents had come got to choose a buddy from the class for the field trip--Ian chose Julian, and I knew why immediately. That's the name of a royal lemur on his favorite cartoon, so Ian thinks Julian is pretty cool.:)


And here is where we are headed with the boys tomorrow afternoon. It should pretty much be a nerd fest. We can't wait!

What "wholesome recreational activities" is your family doing this fall?

The Greatest Show on Earth

The circus is in town!

Our family went to Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Circus last night. It's only here for a few more days, and if you're in the area, you've got to go. My children had a great time (okay, the 2 year old pretty much made us all miserable after 8:00, but it was past her bedtime. Next time I'll bring a change of clothes for her in case she dumps her entire snow cone out on her dress and tinkles in her panties.) There were clowns, elephants, tigers, acrobats, people shooting out of cannons and walking upside down . . . and lots of magic tricks. The theme this year is magic, which was just up my boys' alley.

We had dinner first with a clown (Bronwen was fascinated), then went down on the floor for the preshow. Anyone with general admission tickets can go down onto the floor before the circus show begins and mingle with the cast. Kimball was chosen to help with a magic trick and won a souvenir DVD for participating. Ian's favorite part was when the acrobats shot out of the cannon. Henry liked the live band and all the dance music. Bronwen loved the "ephalants" and my favorite was the tiger tamer and his entertaining Spanglish. He actually kissed a tiger right on the nose!

If you and your family would like to go to the circus this weekend, here's a deal for you. There are shows at 11:00 am, 3:00 pm, and 7:00 pm thru Sunday. If you buy your tickets on ticketmaster or at the arena, use the code: MOM (on ticketmaster.com enter it in the box marked MC Promotion Box). Or you can call 1-800-745-3000. You can get a package of 4 tickets for $44, and each additional ticket is only $11.

Real Families, Real Answers

Have you seen this show on BYU-TV? It is absolutely wonderful!
I have been watching it recently and find each episode to be uplifting, encouraging, and thought-provoking. It is clearly written for all families (not specifically an LDS audience), and in fact is careful to refer to faith generally rather than a faith specifically. The show is really well done and professional.

Some of the topics that they discuss are: family finances, parenting strategies, parenting teens, blended families, strengthening marriages, overcoming addictions, single parenting, and more. It makes me think about our own family traditions, discipline, and communication style.

Most people outside of Utah will find that BYU Television is included in their cable or satellite package. If you don't have access on TV, you can watch the show here.

House Guests: A How-To Guide

What should you do if you have house guests coming and you are too lazy to prepare meals, entertain them, or do anything other than lie around the house? I highly recommend that you, most of your children, and your guests all come down with the stomach flu.

It helps if you and your kids can get it first, thus evoking pity and help from said guests. Then, after several hours of that, be sure that they, too, become infected. If you're an A-level hostess, please try to wipe the toilet down with a Clorox wipe just before your guests need to throw up for the first time. It will help them feel loved and cared for.

If you manage to pull this off, your guests will not expect you to plan elaborate day trips, to spend money on restaurants, movies, and other activities, nor even to wine and dine them at home with your Martha Stewart-esque hostessing skills. You can even have a gourmet menu planned out for brownie points, but they won't want you to make the food anyway. They will look the other way as the laundry piles up in mounds on your bedroom floor--they know that you don't have the energy to fold and put away all those sheets, towels, pillowcases, and nearly every blanket in the house that has been barfed on, because they don't have the energy, either. Engaging conversation? Completely unnecessary.

Instead, your guests will want nothing rather than a turn in the bathroom, a couch or bed to lie on, and a little ginger ale to sip when they're feeling up to it. And those are the easiest kind of house guests I have ever had. The bad news? They may never want to come back.

Happy Easter

Happy Easter from our family to yours.

I am so grateful for the Savior, Jesus Christ. I know that He lives and that through Him, we also will live again after we die. As I have lost many loved ones to death (and know that eventually all those whom I love will die,) the knowledge of the resurrection brings peace and joy to my soul.

Nearly 100 years before the birth of Christ, a prophet named Amulek testified of Christ, of His divine mission, and of the resurrection:

40 And he shall come into the ^aworld to ^bredeem his people; and he shall ^ctake upon him the transgressions of those who believe on his name; and these are they that shall have eternal life, and salvation cometh to none else.

41 Therefore the wicked remain as though there had been ^ano redemption made, except it be the loosing of the bands of death; for behold, the day cometh that ^ball shall rise from the dead and stand before God, and be ^cjudged according to their works.

42 Now, there is a death which is called a temporal death; and the death of Christ shall loose the ^abands of this temporal death, that all shall be raised from this temporal death.

43 The spirit and the body shall be ^areunited again in its ^bperfect form; both limb and joint shall be restored to its proper frame, even as we now are at this time; and we shall be brought to stand before God, ^cknowing even as we know now, and have a bright ^drecollection of all our ^eguilt.

44 Now, this restoration shall come to all, both old and young, both bond and free, both male and female, both the wicked and the righteous; and even there shall not so much as a hair of their heads be lost; but every thing shall be ^arestored to its perfect frame, as it is now, or in the body, and shall be brought and be arraigned before the bar of Christ the Son, and God the ^bFather, and the Holy Spirit, which is ^cone Eternal God, to be ^djudged according to their works, whether they be good or whether they be evil.-- Alma 11

Today was my first day in a new assignment at church; I'll be working with the children of our congregation each week and learning from them as I strive to teach them about Christ. We read scriptures from the New Testament together about the death and resurrection of Jesus. I was touched by the words to a song that we sang towards the end of the meeting:

"Did Jesus really live again, after He had died? Oh yes, and so shall I!" (Children's Songbook, pg. 64) What a blessing to have that knowledge and have your life influenced by it. He is our Savior and Redeemer.

Take Time to Relish

Crazy for Stu & Malia

You know how I blog and blog and blah blah blah about what a stress case I am over Christmas? And how I try to come up with all these strategies for keeping my cool? Well this year, I was crazy enough to plan a trip out of town to take place only a few hours after Christmas Day was over. Those of you who are mothers, particularly with several children, will understand what a deep, personal, sacrifice this was for me. Taking any trip whatsoever requires ridiculous amounts of preparation and planning when you are moving 6 people. Add in the fact that the car had to be packed by the time we went to bed on Christmas night and it was a recipe for disaster.

Why would I be so foolish, you might ask? This decision laughs in the face of reason. But you see, my baby brother Stuart and his adorable wife Malia were visiting the mainland from Hawaii. And my little family of 6 hadn't seen them since they got married 2 1/2 years ago. Shameful, I tell you.

Thank goodness for blogging, or I would hardly know Malia. I don't think that meeting a bride on the week of her wedding is the best way to get to know someone whom you will call "sister." Don't get me wrong--I do not remember Malia being a Bridezilla in any way (not like I was, at least,) but she was still somewhat distracted and lovesick, which doesn't lend itself well to bonding with anyone but your soon-to-be-husband. Fortunately, Malia does keep a blog (a couple of them, actually,) and through that medium I have fallen in love with her and have no doubts why my brother did the same. Her photography is exquisite (you simply have to see her best of 2008 pictures. The word stunning comes to mind.) and always makes me wish that I could pull a Samantha Stevens and wiggle my nose right over to their island paradise.

Anyhow, by some miracle (but not without a Christmas Day breakdown on my part) we did leave town at 5:30 am on December 26th. We had a wonderful time hanging with many members of the Johnson family, singing songs to the guitar, playing card games, and attempting to visit Griffith Park Observatory along with half of the greater LA area (one of our vans made it to the top. The one with my family in it, however, did not). And the afternoon that we arrived there, Malia and I took my kids to the park, where she captured a few photos. Go here to see them. My favorites are the one of Ian and the one of Bronwen and Henry laughing together.

And guess what? The trip was completely worth it. Even if I did have to do a few loads of laundry on Christmas Day.

"The" Gift of Christmas

Does this happen at your house? It seems like every year, no matter how many or how few presents our kids get, whether or not they got exactly what was on their list, there is one present that EVERYONE wants. One present that is the source of greatest excitement, greatest conflict, greatest anxiety, and greatest pleasure. Every year.

This year, the gift was Henry's. A Clone Trooper Voice Changing Helmet. I had seen it in the stores and thought it was really overrated. Every time we passed it at Costco, my kids would drool over said item. But two weeks before Christmas, I pulled out everything I had purchased to wrap it and discovered that Henry was woefully underrepresented in the presents department. As in, I'd bought him a t-shirt. And as there wasn't much on Henry's wish list, you might not be surprised to find that Santa brought Henry the Clone Trooper Voice Changing Helmet that everyone wanted.

What may (or may not surprise you) but certainly took me off guard, was that this year, everyone else has wanted to play with it, too. As in the adults. As I was in the kitchen late on Christmas Eve, working on pull-apart bread for the morning's breakfast, I could hear Jared in the living room, playing with the dumb thing. And it was loud. I had to come out and shush him before we woke all the kids up at 11:00 pm and ruined Christmas.

Not only did all three boys want to try the helmet on immediately, but the moment that no one else was wearing it, Bronwen tried it on.

Friday morning, we piled into the car to visit my family in Southern Cal. I said the voice changing helmet should stay home. I was overruled by everyone else. And before we even got into my mom's house, two of my brothers (ages 27 and 24) had already tried on The Helmet. I hugged a clone trooper in greeting on the sidewalk.

As if that wasn't enough, last night after the kids were in bed, I found my mom trying it on. What the?????

So I guess I'm the only member of the family that doesn't get the allure of The Helmet. Does that make me out of touch?

What was The Gift at your house this year?

In Lieu of A Christmas Card

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

As noted in previous posts, I have been trying to reduce my commitments and the expense this holiday season in an attempt to give me more time to enjoy the holiday with my family instead of having daily meltdowns due to stress. One of the things I decided to skip this year was sending Christmas cards to friends and family. Don't worry-- I'll do it again next year and give up something else instead, (like presents or Christmas Eve dinner)! I know that an e-Christmas card is a cheap substitute for getting something in the mail, but it's what I was willing to do this year. Hopefully my family and friends felt like it was worth it to catch up with us that they clicked the link from their email to come over to my blog and get an update.

If you are a regular reader of this blog, there won't be much that is new to report. But you can take a walk down memory lane with us of the year 2008.

December 2008 finds our family well (if you aren't counting colds and hacking coughs) and content, feeling blessed with the bounty the Lord has given us. We have been in Northern California for almost 6 years now and it feels like home to us. We are fortunate to have Jared's parents, my sister Allison and her family, and my sister-in-law Becky with her kids all nearby, as well as many friends that we've made here.

Kimball, our oldest, is 8 1/2 this year. He loves reading anything he can get his hands on, all things Star Wars, Legos, and learning new languages, codes, and alphabets. We have been recently spent about 6 weeks studying ancient Greece in our homeschool and Kimball has started writing everything in the Greek alphabet. We all need a key to translate,but he can now read the Greek alphabet as well as English. Kimball has also taken off in our Russian studies this year. He is in Cub Scouts, is learning the piano and tae kuk mu sul karate, and participated for the first time this fall in rec league soccer on the Mighty Titans. He was also baptized this year and has become quite the scriptorian.

Here are a few posts about Kimball from this year (read as much or as little as you like):
In which I report on his baptism
In which you get to see his sense of humor
In which you see how tortured he is by his parents
In which you see how closely he identifies with characters in his books

Henry is nearly 7 and can't wait for his birthday. He is bright and excited about learning, especially math and history. Henry played soccer for the second season this year, and also takes piano and tae kuk mu sul karate (he recently earned his "striped belt"). Henry is our most generous child, always willing to share with someone who doesn't have what he does. He loves to be my helper, which I also appreciate. Henry's interests include Star Wars, library books, adoring his little sister, and riding bikes with the next-door-neighbor and his brothers.

Here are a few Henry posts from this year:
In which he is interviewed on his 6th birthday
In which he proves that he knows his mom better than she's willing to admit
In which he says good-bye to kindergarten

Ian is a mischevious 4 year old who can't decide if he wants to be a baby or one of the big boys. He loves everything his big brothers do, but still holds on to his interest in cowboys and monsters. Although our most easy-going baby by far, Ian is giving us a run for our money this year by challenging nearly all our requests of him. Ian attended preschool in the 07-08 school year, then joined our family homeschool this fall. His favorite time in homeschool is when he and I do math together--I bought a kindergarten math program for him this year that he is eating up. He loves being read to, playing outside, and going to a friend's for a playdate.

Here are a few posts about Ian:
In which he decides to go by an alias
In which I report his alien abduction
In which we celebrate his birthday, circus-style
In which I interview him
In which he tries to emulate his uncle

Bronwen, our youngest, will be 2 in a few weeks. She has everyone's attention around here. Bronwen loves to mother her babies, cuddle with her blankets, help me empty the dishwasher (she's quite good at it), and being read to. She recently mastered the computer keyboard to the point that she rotated my display by 90 degrees. It took me over an hour (not to mention calling two of my brothers) to fix it. Now you can call me for tech support if that happens at your house.

Here are a few posts about Bronwen:
In which she makes her Christmas requests
In which we celebrate her 1st birthday and rehash her birth
In which we note that she finally has enough hair for pigtails

As for Jared, he is busy running his practice, serving as the Elders Quorum President in our ward (he helps to coordinate service and sees to the needs of about half the families in our congregation through home teachers). He has been working on moving our fence out 5 more feet on one side to give us more room in the backyard. Hopefully we'll finally be able to put in our new backyard soon. On rare occasions, Jared gets out to ride his dirt bike, take the boys camping, or hangs out with some friends, but most of the time he gives his free time completely to us.We both spent a lot of time and energy helping to pass Proposition 8 here in California this fall.

I don't have a lot of blog posts about Jared because he doesn't love me blogging about him. Here is one that I wrote for his birthday, honoring him.

And then there's me. I am obviously busy with our children, our homeschool, keeping up with laundry, cooking, and other housework. I continue to serve as the Compassionate Service Leader in our ward (meaning that I arrange for help when people need it, like meals when they have a baby or surgery, or rides for the older sisters, etc.) In my free time, I like to blog, and started a homeschool blog and a healthy habits blog this year, both of which are SORELY neglected at the moment. I also love to cook and bake, which is sometimes my downfall. I have really focused on spending less and wanting less this year and feel that I have been successful in overcoming some bad habits and perpetual I-want-itis. We have had some struggles like everyone else this year, but feel so blessed for everything that is good and wonderful in our life.

Here are a couple more posts if you're not completely burned out by now:
In which you get to belly laugh at my expense
In which I muse about motherhood and what I've learned
In which I share my wish list of things to do in the next 5 years and how it's going

So, if you are still reading this (surely a sign that you have insomnia, as this post is too long for ME to read a few days before Christmas), we wish you a Merry Christmas. We testify of the Savior's love for each one of you, and we know that Heavenly Father desires to bless you richly in your life.

Feel free to leave a comment, even if it is "anonymous" (just sign your name at the end).We would love to hear from you.

Suffering from Burnout

Have you ever suffered from blogging burnout? That must be the malady that is afflicting me right now. Perhaps starting a third blog was what really pushed me over the edge. I just haven't been in the mood for blogging lately. When I started getting concerned comments and emails, though, I knew that it was time to post.

I am so behind on reading blogs that it's downright depressing. I have nearly 300 new, unread posts in my Google Reader right now. I'm seriously considering marking them all as read and just starting from scratch. I'm sure I'd miss out on some of the great things you've all been writing about in the past two weeks, but at the moment, that Google Reader seems like an unconquerable pile of laundry. I suppose it would be silly to throw away all the clothes and start over if my laundry waxed out-of-control, but that's essentially what I'm going to have to do if I'm ever going to open my Google Reader again!:)

So what have I been doing instead of blogging?

• Enjoying lots of family, who visited us during the week of Thanksgiving.
• Overeating with aforementioned family during the week of Thanksgiving.
• Potty training Bronwen, which has been going great. At least it was going great until she got what we call The Big D around here. I'm seriously considering putting her in a diaper again until this little bug passes.
• Learning about (and then teaching) the Peloponnesian Wars. This week, it's Alexander the Great.
• Teaching Ian about pictographs. Here's one we did on hair color of people in our family. If you are protesting that we got your hair color wrong (Daddy), I left that up to Ian.
• Decorating the house for Christmas. As our pre-lit tree didn't have any working lights on it any more, we put colored lights on this year. It reminds me of the tree we had when I was growing up and gives me a warm, nostalgic feeling. But I have decided that having colored lights makes the tree look much busier.Next year I'll either go back to white lights or use a lot fewer ornaments.
• Listening to my Christmas CDs. Don't you love Christmas music?
• Helping with the ward Christmas party. I was in charge of roasting the meats, plus made two jelly-roll pans of brownies. We served spiral-cut ham and a Garlic-Herb Crusted New York Strip Loin Roast, which was fab. And much easier than it might appear, thanks to a great recipe and electric roasters. (I used the 13+ pound roasts from Costco and they were a cinch. You should try it.)
  
• Nursing a cold.
• Reading. I just read Enna Burning last week (the sequel to The Goose Girl, which I loved.) It was not as good as TGG, but it was a fun read so soon afterwards. I started Sarah last night and couldn't put it down. Except for the fact that I was congested, drowsy, and hacking, so I eventually went to bed.
• Starting my "school day" later and later. Except for 6 am math with Kimball. Before the cold hit.

Oh, and Kimball decided to cut Henry's and his own hair on the day after Thanksgiving. To the hairline. So they now look like shorn sheep, having buzzes courtesy of their father. I don't think they'll be cutting their hair again (or anything else) in the near future.

Anyway, no promises on how soon I'll be back with a new post, but at least now you know that no one has been hit by a car. How is the season going for you?

Meeting of the Concrete Minds

My oldest boys are very black-and-white thinkers. When they are pretending something, it is real. I get in big trouble for using words like "play" or "pretend" because as far as they are concerned, that is a betrayal. They have also been known to get into full-blown wars with Ian because he insists something completely fictional is truth. They are the self-proclaimed defenders of truth, even if that "truth" is their own pretend. It turns out that this may run in the family.

A couple of days ago, my niece and nephew came over to play for a few hours. The boys were so excited to show off their clubhouse and introduce Cooper and Catelyn to their secret club and to "Clubea," the foreign land lying just outside our back door.

They had only been outside for 15 minutes or so when I could tell that things were headed south. I went out to investigate and this is what I found:

• One tear-stained face of a six-year-old, who informed me that "we are in America!"
• Two boys, indignant and hurt that their cousin refused to recognize Clubea as a sovereign nation.
• Two preschoolers who couldn't care less about the battle and were only interested in the trampoline (much to the club president's chagrin).

No amount on coaxing on my part could convince either side to back down. I finally told them that my boys could call it "Clubea" and Cooper could call it "America" and we'd move on. I foolishly thought that this would solve it, but a few minutes later I was again summoned to the back door.

Apparently, Cooper had used the club's sidewalk chalk to write: "Yor in umeriku." (You're in America.) Kimball had promptly, and with hostility, crossed it off, violating the strict codes of sidewalk chalk. He was in the process of summoning the residents of Clubea to Club Court by banging a rhythm on his drum (an upside down tin trashcan). Cooper refused to recognize the powers of the court.

Concerned that my little dictator was getting out of control with his cries for punishment for treachery, I sent him in to cool off in his bedroom for a few minutes, which generally works wonders. In the meantime, I tried to help Henry and Cooper come to some sort of understanding while Ian and Catelyn helped me pick tomatoes for dinner. Henry-turned-diplomat finally suggested that the concrete could be America for the afternoon while the dirt and weeds that make up the rest of our backyard would be Clubea. Cooper was satisfied with this compromise, although he wanted it to be clear that he would not be leaving America because, "This is the only free country! Clubea isn't a free country!"

When Kimball returned, he grudgingly agreed to join the international pact but spent a good 10 minutes debating with his American cousin the freedoms enjoyed by the citizens of Clubea.

Despite these speedbumps they spent the rest of the afternoon playing well together as neighboring nations, if by together you mean playing in the backyard without entering each other's territory. Finally, Bronwen woke from her late nap and they were allowed back into the house, which was obviously neutral territory and the international friction subsided completely.

Jared and I chuckled over the incident. Those boys are definitely cousins! I guess that blood may be thicker than water, but concrete is even thicker.

Want Ad

Wanted: A happy family to buy my childhood home. Must have lots of kids to run around in the backyard (and occasionally do some yard work). Must be willing to eat breakfast and dinner on the deck from May through October. Must promise to hold wedding receptions, birthday parties, neighborhood breakfasts, and other such events on a regular basis. Must love old houses with all of their charms and their beautiful woodwork. Must promise to never put in vinyl windows that would compromise the beauty of the original craftsmanship. Must adore Coastal Redwoods, ocean breezes, and detached garages.

It is an added plus if you love to sing together, want to lay on the grass at night to watch the planes fly overhead, and don't mind an occasional siren (as the police station is only a couple of blocks away). I hope you'll love all the trees, including the original Whittier Haas avocado trees, the persimmon tree (we can give you recipes for that one), and the space for a vegetable garden. You'll be pleased to know that there is plenty of room for food storage, camping storage, and storing your kids' stuff when they are too grown up to live at home but not grown up enough to have a place to store their own things.

I hope you'll build a tree house where ours once was and hang a hammock under another tree-- a place for a bookworm to escape and while away an afternoon with a great classic. There are plenty of places to play Star Wars, Davy Crockett, and GI Joe (if you're into that). The basketball court will help your kid develop their athletic ability--or not.

Be sure to take walks and bike rides to the nearby library, to the Whittier College campus, to Michigan Park. In the spring, the jacarandas bloom everywhere and then snow purple all over the streets. It's positively dream-like. Your out-of-state relatives will all want to visit since you'll be within minutes of Disneyland, and a short distance from Los Angeles, the Pacific Ocean, and Irvine. You'll be glad for the guest apartment over the garage (unless you decide to rent that out to a college student.)

This home has been in our family for over 30 years now and we will be sad to see it go. You can probably buy it even if you don't meet the above qualifications, but it will be easier for us to hand over the keys if you do. Then we will know that we are providing a place for another family to build 30 years of memories together--and it is the perfect spot for that.

Taking Note

As you know, I had the blessing of spending two weeks visiting family and old friends this month. Upon returning home, I have been reflecting on all the things I learned from the mothers with whom I visited. With some of them, I have had many opportunities to observe them mothering their children. Others I had not had the chance to spend much time with since they became mothers. I am so grateful for each of these women and the things that they taught me about how to mother my own. I know that none of them are perfect (they would be quick to protest such praise themselves), and I try hard to dispel the myth of the perfect mom, but we can take note of their strengths and try to make them ours as well.

Angela, my sister-in-law, reminded me (without saying a word to me), of the importance of quiet discipline. Angela is so wonderful when her children misbehave. She gets down on their level and firmly but lovingly discusses with them the bad choices they are making. There is no question that her children feel safe and loved even when they are in big trouble. This is a concern of mine when I yell or harshly scold. I want my children to feel safe and never doubt my love for them. Of course I already knew that I should be doing this, but watching Angela in action made me resolve to do it more often, and not just when I can tell that the old lady in the grocery store is watching!
Lindsee, another SIL, makes fun and relationships a priority over her to-do list. She doesn't let a sink of dirty dishes stop her from taking time with her children when they need it. She thinks that this is a weakness, but I see great strength in her ability to be a Mary when I tend towards Martha. The dishes will always wait patiently, and although they must eventually be washed, the needs of our children are so much more vital than a clean kitchen. Lindsee also gets involved in the fun, not worried about getting dirty or being uncomfortable. I have made a note to walk away from my chores more often and have fun with my kids when I could be doing housework.


Molly, our new(ish) step-cousin, is another great example. I mostly know Molly from reading her blog, but we've met a time or two before, prior to her being a mother. Molly has two daughters, a three year old and a three month old with some special needs. Molly is a wonderful example of having a cheerful heart and a can-do attitude. We got to spend some time together at our family reunion on the 4th of July and Molly wasn't flustered and stressed out, even when her baby was fussing and being needy. She wasn't feeling sorry for herself that she was missing out on all the fun while most of us were out in the orchard enjoying dinner and she was inside trying to calm down Alice. And when I sat down to talk with her, she didn't fill my ear up with how hard it is to have a child with special needs . . . she was upbeat, happy, and full of light. I loved visiting with Molly and holding precious Alice until she went to sleep. And I remembered how often I tend to stress out when things aren't going just the way I expected them to. I'm a control freak that way. And I want to chill out and be more like Molly--willing to go with the flow rather than trying to control everything and falling apart when I can't. (I didn't take a picture of Molly, but here is her dad, Tom, with baby Alice.)


Being around Bec, my cousin, reminded me of something that I'd noted when I'd been to visit her in Washington, DC last fall. It's something so little and yet I have tried to change my ways with Bronwen because of Bec's example. Here's what I learned from Bec: she lets her toddlers feed themselves messy foods. On a regular basis. Okay, this may not seem strange to you. It isn't strange. But as you can already tell from the earlier lessons I've mentioned above, I'm kind of a controlling kinda girl who is striving to loosen up. My independent one year olds? They tend to eat foods that won't make a big tremendous mess. Until I visited Bec, it didn't even OCCUR to me to put milk on the cereal of a child under four. I know that it ridiculous, but it's the sad and honest truth. But I am a new woman. I give spaghetti covered in sauce (not plain) to my baby now, cereal with milk and a spoon (knowing full well it will get dumped on the floor,) yogurt in her own cup . . . I am finding that it is so much easier than feeding her myself, plus she is so much happier to be feeding herself these messy foods. I'm also thinking that it may help her not grow up to be as picky as her older brothers, who were fed less messy foods (and thus, less variety) at her age. Bec, you may think that this is a silly non-lesson, but it is clearly one that I needed to learn. And watching Brandon eat a bowl of cereal and milk on the ground at the parade reminded me of it. (See how his baby brother, Trevor, wants in on the action?)


Heidi has been a friend of mine since we were teenagers. We used to go to stake dances together, toilet papered many a house together, and played a few practical jokes one year at girls' camp. She was a year younger than me, went to a different high school and ward, so we spent time together in spurts until we were roommates for a couple of years at BYU. I had really only seen Heidi a couple of times since she became a mom five years ago, and those times were at events like weddings when I didn't get to really watch her in action. This time, Heidi's mothering really stood out to me because she was so relaxed about letting the kids be kids. I know Heidi well enough to know that she likes to control things around her as much as I do, but she was so low-key about kids coming in and out of the backyard with grassy, wet feet, kids leaving the sliding door open when it was 25 degrees warmer outside than in, kids spreading toys all over the family room floor while sitting on the carpet in their damp (or soaking wet) bathing suits. Now don't get me wrong--Heidi's house was not a mess. It was clean and neat when we got there, and I'm sure that she keeps it looking nice. But Heidi's mothering reminded me that the kids are more important than the clean house or the electric bill. She was happy that they were having fun and wasn't going to spend the hour and a half that she had to catch up with Alli and me nagging her kids to close the door and wipe their feet. Her house felt clean and neat enough, but it also felt homey, lived in, and comfortable. Just the place you'd want to be. And the fresh brownies, hummus with french bread, and chips and salsa (all of our old foods) that were waiting when we arrived added to that homey welcome. Because she was relaxed, I was relaxed, and didn't worry about my kids being perfect either.

Erin, aka Prudence Pennywise, is Heidi's older sister. She and I became friends when she returned home from her mission and moved in with Heidi and me and some others at BYU. This was a special blessing for me at the time, because it was my junior year at BYU and the year I really needed to decide if I was going to serve a mission. Erin was a wonderful influence on me then, as she is now. I really miss being able to stay up all night talking to her. She has also been a great influence on my love for cooking. Anyway, we got to spend an afternoon swimming with her and her kids, then had a delicious Mexican feast, then talked and talked until it was too late and we needed to be in bed. One of the things that Erin said while we were talking struck me. She said, "You know the kind of family that saves all the fun for the adults, after the kids are in bed? It's all about the adults in those families when they get together." Hmmmm, I wondered. Does that sound familiar? I will admit that I am someone who is anxious to get my kids to bed at night (by 7:30 if at all possible) so that I can have some time without them. Now, my kids are also early risers regardless of what time they get to bed, so I have always justified their early bedtime easily, since they need to sleep. But I don't know if I spend a lot of time making sure that they have plenty of fun when we are together as a family. Sunday nights after dinner we race to get the kids to be so that we can play games with the other adults in the family. I'm not sure yet how I'm going to change this, but it's the mindset that I'd like to borrow from Erin. She knows how to make everything fun--and she'd never dream of denying that to her kids. We (all--not just the grown ups) had so much fun on our visit there that I'm already trying to figure out a way to get back to St. George sooner than later. (Since Erin and I managed to stay out of all the pictures, I'll just have to post some of our children enjoying the food together. And not one of my picky eaters was anything other than th-rilled at the food.)



I'll bet if I thought about it some more, I could name something wonderful that I learned from every aunt, cousin, and friend that I came across on my two week jaunt. I can't help but feel so grateful and humbled that the Lord has surrounded me with strong women of faith, who love their children and are striving to be the best mothers they can be. Their influence on me is a great blessing in my life.

Ten Reasons

I have the best in-laws you could ask for. I don't think I appreciated this as a newlywed. We had the usual adjustments to make to each other as families with different ways tried to blend together. But as the years have gone on, I've realized how blessed I am to have Jared's parents (and his siblings and their spouses) in my life. When people complain about their in-laws, I simply can't relate.
So, with Father's Day coming, I wanted to do a tribute to them. I didn't have my act together at Mothers' Day to do the post about my MIL that I had planned, so they'll get double billing here. These ten reasons are not a top ten list because they are in no particular order, so don't get fired up because one might be more important than the other. I've got better things to do then spend an extra 20 minutes moving them around once I've written this post!:)

Ten Reasons I Love My In-laws

1. They love to play games. We have so much fun together playing games. This is something that allowed us to bond from an early point in our relationship, since I love to play games. Currently, we play games together most Sunday nights. It is not unusual to have them come by on a Friday or Saturday night to play games after the kids are in bed. Some of our favorites include Rook, Ticket to Ride, Settlers of Catan, Golf, Hand and Foot (if Jared's not playing), and Acquire.
   
2. They seek out to establish traditions with their grandchildren. With my kids, these traditions include making gingerbread houses every Christmas, going to the dollar movies (and getting popcorn there), dying Easter eggs, and something as simple as going to a "play place" at a fast food restaurant together.
3. They bought a house with a pool. Not because they love to swim, or because Dad likes to clean a pool, but because they wanted us to come over often. And we do. All summer long.
4. They taught my husband to love the gospel, to study the scriptures, to attend the temple, to serve in the Church, and to put his family first.
5. They come to kids' soccer games, preschool graduations, grandparent's day at school (even though they know it's just about coercing them to buy books at the book fair,) birthday parties, etc. They always come to our ward's 4th of July breakfast with us--and show up with a vehicle decorated for the parade (knowing that I never have my act together well enough to have done this for my own kids.) And they let all the kids in the ward try it out because it is the coolest one there.
6. They know how to relax and have fun. I guess that is obvious by the previous reasons listed, but it helps to balance out my neurotic and uptight ways. I have learned a lot about how to enjoy my family from their example.
7. Dad often drops by or calls in the middle of the day to see if I need a break. And I know I can call him if I need help with something. Yesterday when Kimball came down with the stomach flu AGAIN (we have been smitten this year), he came and took Ian and Henry to swimming lessons for me. Then he dropped some things off for me at Jared's office. Then, he took Mom out to lunch, then came back to our house to play Loot with Alli and I while the kids were napping. A few hours later he was back to go with Jared & Henry to Jared's indoor soccer game. I'm not sure when yesterday he spent doing the things that HE needed to get done. (Rumor has it he does actually work sometimes!) He spends his time on his family.
8. Mom reads to the kids and puts them to bed for us most Sunday nights when we are clearly tired of being their parents! She sings them special "Grammy songs" that I can never get right when they request them from me. When Kimball was a baby and we lived in different states, she made an audio tape (remember those) of herself reading several board books, singing "Grammy songs," and talking to him. He listened to it 25 times a day. She works hard to have a good relationship with them.
9. They keep our kids overnight once in a while so that Jared and I can get away. Not only is that heavenly for the parents of four young children, but our kids look forward to those sleep overs and always ask us if we can stay away longer next time. So they must be doing fun stuff!
10. They have always treated me like I was their daughter and not an in-law at all. And as the years have gone by, I can hardly tell the difference between their family and mine--we are all family. I remember once about a year ago that Dad and I had a misunderstanding and I could tell that he was mad at me. As I was talking to Mom about it, she, assuming that I was crying because I was mad at him, too, said, "Oh, honey, it'll be okay. You're just upset with him because he's not your dad. (Meaning that if he were my dad, I'd be over it already.) You guys will be fine after a while." But I knew that I was so upset because he is my dad. Especially with my dad gone, he has filled that role for me. And I was devastated that he could be hurt and angry about something that I said and hoped that it wouldn't hurt our relationship, because I couldn't expect him to forgive me the way he would his own daughter. But he did. They both always have claimed me as theirs. And that is the best reason of all.