Monday, January 14, 2008

Overheard at Our House

The other morning, when I called Kimball to come out to breakfast, I heard sobbing from his bedroom. I went in to investigate. Kimball was on top of the bed, crying as if all was lost (this is not terribly unusual--he only knows one way to cry, and that's as if all is lost.)

Me: Kimball, what's the matter?
Kimball: I can't come to breakfast. (sob) I can't get down from the bunk bed.
Me: Why can't you get down?
Kimball: Because I have a shell instead of legs (wail.)
Me: What? (Then, noticing that his legs are in a pillowcase,) What's going on?
Kimball: Henry destroyed the Transmogrofier and now I'm stuck forever with a shell instead of legs!
(He points to a large piece of cardboard on the bedroom floor, that has intricate drawings all over it that are obviously machine parts and a faint "X" drawn through them. Clearly, this is the destroyed Transmogrifier.)
Me: I don't think that this Transmogrifier is destroyed. Perhaps Henry was trying to ruin it, but it looks like he failed to me. Let's transmogrify you back into a kid with legs. And let's do it quickly. I'm clearing away breakfast in 15 minutes.
Kimball: (Sniffle, sob) Mom, it's destroyed. And now I'm doomed!
Me: (Deep breath) Son, let me see if I can get the shell off your legs. (I peel the pillowcase from his reluctant body.) Ok, it looks like I transmogrified you. Now come to breakfast.
Kimball: Now my hideous spider legs are exposed! I can't get down.
Me: Well, please figure out how to get yourself out to breakfast if you want to eat. (Yes, I'm kind of a killjoy. Except for the fact that there didn't seem to be any joy involved in this game, anyway.)

A few minutes later, Kimball arrives in the kitchen in an army crawl. He warns us:

Kimball: No one look at my hideous spider legs. And no one touch them--they are covered in deadly poison! (sniffle)

Obviously, this kid reads too much Calvin and Hobbes!


E said...

Oh my gosh. I couldn't be laughing harder. HILARIOUS!!! Especially because I happened to read that Calvin n Hobbes like 2 days ago so I actually know what a transmogrifier (sp?) is.

Kim said...

Ok Michal - I'm laughing so hard right now I'm having a hard time typing this message without typos. I hope Kimball gets his legs back to normal.

mindyluwho said...


Oh boy, you're kids and mine would get along famously. I have had to read Calvin and Hobbes for one of the bedtime stories for the last 6 months. I finally told them that they could pick one page per night for me to read because we needed to add in some other books! My eight year old got a book for Christmas and it was his favorite present. It goes with him wherever he goes!

Anonymous said...

That's my gkid! You've got to share his latest book on Parties and recipes or what ever he calls his new publication.


Kimberly said...

Oh my...he's trying to be Calvin, but without Calvin's cynicism as a defense. The poor kid!

And hey, thanks for the sweet comment. =)

Jim Hutchings said...

I can't believe that you tried to bypass the Transmogrifier. He's lucky to still be alive. At least you didn't touch the poisonous legs. Whew. I'll look on eBay to see if I can find a Transmogrifier for cheap!

Malia said...

That Story is awesome! Most times i wish I had half as good an imagination as kids do!

Mahina said...

i love that story! that is hillarious! what a great mom to go along with it and tell him it wasn't destroyed, even though it didn't seem to matter to him! that is classic! thanks for sharing this! it is totally calvin and hobbesish! we used to read that all the time growing up. what a flashback!

Aubrey said...

That is hilarious! Poor child, I hope he gets his legs back to normal soon. Such a travesty to have poisonous spider legs! It's good you are writing this stuff down because you think you'll remember it never do. It will make great dinner conversation when he is an adult!
He sounds like a really bright kid to have such a vivid imagination!

Molly said...

That story is hilarious!!! I was reading it out loud to J and the second I said "transmorgrifier" he started laughing and said he thought that Kimball must be a fan of Calvin and Hobbes. I don't have a clue about Calvin and Hobbes (maybe it's boy thing), but it's a great story even without a knowledge of C&H!

McD said...

HA! Poor kid, where was Hobbes to get his back. Better be careful you don't get tackled next time. Was this whole episode in color or black and white? It surely sounds like a color episode to me!

Morgan said...

I laughed so hard at this post- I had to bring Chris over for him to read it, too. We were dying! LOL!

Becky said...

Ahh, poor Kimball. Poison spider legs are the worst!