Keeping It Real

This is possibly the most humiliating thing I will ever do on line. Certainly after this post, no one can accuse me of sugar-coating reality to make myself look better! My former friend, Jana), tagged me for a meme: What's in Your Purse? My purse is always a wreck, and lately it has been especially bad, which means that I have been saying to myself for at least a week that I need to clean it out. But did I clean it out before Jana tagged me? No, I did not. And I couldn't feel good about cleaning it out before posting. So now all of you will know how absolutely filthy and unorganized I am in my secret places (please don't look inside my beautiful stainless steel fridge). It's not too late for you to turn back and not read any further. I'm warning you that this may too graphic for some neat freak eyes.

So, here is what my purse contained until one hour ago:
My wallet, which is bulging to the point that I have to strain to snap it closed. $1.86 in change, which I can never find when I need it because it is loose in the bottom of the purse. A small map of parks and bike trails in my community (which I have never opened, but I grabbed at the library one day because it seemed like a good thing to have.) Approximately 25 various business cards, some of them duplicates. A coupon for a kid's dental visit (we are cash patients, so I'm all about the coupons). A coupon for Cold Stone, which I will probably never use because I've only been there 3 times in my life and you have to buy the huge one to get another one for free. A $50 gift certificate to Learning Express, which I can't wait to use, but am waiting until I don't have to take four children in with me--the $50 goes way too fast if everyone is asking for something.This book, which I am only one chapter into, but keep thinking that I might have time to read while I'm waiting somewhere, so it's in my purse. On the day I got tagged, I actually had 2 books in my bag, but I finished reading the other one last night, so it was not there this morning.
So far, I'm doing okay, right? Well, read on. Or better yet, stop now, before my image is tarnished forever.
My cell phone. My old cell phone (because I still haven't transferred all the numbers over). My keys. My valet key. A list of phone numbers that I want to add to my new cell phone. Three pencils (only one of them sharpened). Two pens. (I can never find anything to write with in that purse.) A baby spoon. A pencil sharpener that I probably took away from one of the kids months ago when he had it in his mouth. Two notepads, one of which is covered in Ian's scrawls.

Three tubes of lipstick. (I can't remember the last time I wore lipstick instead of gloss.) Two tubes of lip gloss. One lip pencil. One Burt's Bees tinted lip balm. One SPF 30 face stick.

Assorted Weight Watchers literature and my weigh in card. I haven't been in 3 weeks. Sigh.

Four batteries that need to be recycled (I took them at my Mom's when she planned on throwing them in the garbage can.) Earbuds for my mp3 player. A handsfree earbud for my cell phone. They are too tangled together to tell them apart. A roll of film which needs to be developed. (I have no idea what is on it, as I have been using a digital camera now exclusively for a year and a half.)

Some family names that I am working on in the temple.

Some church literature that I found in my junk drawer two weeks ago and thought, "I should give this to so-and-so. She might enjoy it." I have seen her 47 times since then and forgotten Every. Single. Time.
My "just in case" stuff: 2 diapers. 1 disposable bib, which has been in there for six months and not used. 1 chew toy. 1 spongy lego-like toy. A ziploc bag with Cheerios in it (off brand.) Some baby sunscreen. A tampon whose wrapping looks somewhat worse for wear. Two half-gone packages of Kleenex. A thingy to clip your binki to the baby--who has not used a binki for a year now. 1 409 wipe. 1 Shout wipe. 1 Desitin sample. 3 half-gone packages of gum, 2 for me, one for the kids in sacrament meeting.Fabric and paint samples and a sketch from Christine of possible drapes solutions for my master bedroom. (The two swatches at the top and the paint sample are probably the final choices.)

And lastly:

This pile of trash, consisting of old tithing slips, random receipts, 2 recipes, 1 ward newsletter, 2 Relief Society bulletins, many gum wrappers, 2 menus/grocery shopping lists, a spreadsheet of compassionate service assignments, and old tissues. This is the most embarrassing of all; that is a ridiculous amount of literal garbage that I was carrying everywhere.

Now that I've got that off my chest, it's time to tag someone. I've debated on this, as it might require someone else to bare their naked soul to the world. Then again, how bad can it be after mine? So, if you are game, I tag: Allison, Ice Cream Diary (Happy Birthday!), and Scrap Chair Potato. Have fun, girls!