Thursday, May 15, 2008

Keeping It Real


This is possibly the most humiliating thing I will ever do on line. Certainly after this post, no one can accuse me of sugar-coating reality to make myself look better! My former friend, Jana), tagged me for a meme: What's in Your Purse? My purse is always a wreck, and lately it has been especially bad, which means that I have been saying to myself for at least a week that I need to clean it out. But did I clean it out before Jana tagged me? No, I did not. And I couldn't feel good about cleaning it out before posting. So now all of you will know how absolutely filthy and unorganized I am in my secret places (please don't look inside my beautiful stainless steel fridge). It's not too late for you to turn back and not read any further. I'm warning you that this may too graphic for some neat freak eyes.

So, here is what my purse contained until one hour ago:
My wallet, which is bulging to the point that I have to strain to snap it closed. $1.86 in change, which I can never find when I need it because it is loose in the bottom of the purse. A small map of parks and bike trails in my community (which I have never opened, but I grabbed at the library one day because it seemed like a good thing to have.) Approximately 25 various business cards, some of them duplicates. A coupon for a kid's dental visit (we are cash patients, so I'm all about the coupons). A coupon for Cold Stone, which I will probably never use because I've only been there 3 times in my life and you have to buy the huge one to get another one for free. A $50 gift certificate to Learning Express, which I can't wait to use, but am waiting until I don't have to take four children in with me--the $50 goes way too fast if everyone is asking for something.This book, which I am only one chapter into, but keep thinking that I might have time to read while I'm waiting somewhere, so it's in my purse. On the day I got tagged, I actually had 2 books in my bag, but I finished reading the other one last night, so it was not there this morning.
So far, I'm doing okay, right? Well, read on. Or better yet, stop now, before my image is tarnished forever.
My cell phone. My old cell phone (because I still haven't transferred all the numbers over). My keys. My valet key. A list of phone numbers that I want to add to my new cell phone. Three pencils (only one of them sharpened). Two pens. (I can never find anything to write with in that purse.) A baby spoon. A pencil sharpener that I probably took away from one of the kids months ago when he had it in his mouth. Two notepads, one of which is covered in Ian's scrawls.

Three tubes of lipstick. (I can't remember the last time I wore lipstick instead of gloss.) Two tubes of lip gloss. One lip pencil. One Burt's Bees tinted lip balm. One SPF 30 face stick.

Assorted Weight Watchers literature and my weigh in card. I haven't been in 3 weeks. Sigh.

Four batteries that need to be recycled (I took them at my Mom's when she planned on throwing them in the garbage can.) Earbuds for my mp3 player. A handsfree earbud for my cell phone. They are too tangled together to tell them apart. A roll of film which needs to be developed. (I have no idea what is on it, as I have been using a digital camera now exclusively for a year and a half.)

Some family names that I am working on in the temple.

Some church literature that I found in my junk drawer two weeks ago and thought, "I should give this to so-and-so. She might enjoy it." I have seen her 47 times since then and forgotten Every. Single. Time.
My "just in case" stuff: 2 diapers. 1 disposable bib, which has been in there for six months and not used. 1 chew toy. 1 spongy lego-like toy. A ziploc bag with Cheerios in it (off brand.) Some baby sunscreen. A tampon whose wrapping looks somewhat worse for wear. Two half-gone packages of Kleenex. A thingy to clip your binki to the baby--who has not used a binki for a year now. 1 409 wipe. 1 Shout wipe. 1 Desitin sample. 3 half-gone packages of gum, 2 for me, one for the kids in sacrament meeting.Fabric and paint samples and a sketch from Christine of possible drapes solutions for my master bedroom. (The two swatches at the top and the paint sample are probably the final choices.)

And lastly:

This pile of trash, consisting of old tithing slips, random receipts, 2 recipes, 1 ward newsletter, 2 Relief Society bulletins, many gum wrappers, 2 menus/grocery shopping lists, a spreadsheet of compassionate service assignments, and old tissues. This is the most embarrassing of all; that is a ridiculous amount of literal garbage that I was carrying everywhere.

Now that I've got that off my chest, it's time to tag someone. I've debated on this, as it might require someone else to bare their naked soul to the world. Then again, how bad can it be after mine? So, if you are game, I tag: Allison, Ice Cream Diary (Happy Birthday!), and Scrap Chair Potato. Have fun, girls!

29 comments:

Macy said...

I have to say - that was impressive. It truly was.

scrap chair potato said...

WOW! I really don't know what to say. I am so glad to see that you are "real". Sometimes I wonder. ;)
I will get to work on my purse post.

Rebecca said...

I'm impressed if you were actually able to find what you needed at any given time :). Just playing with you!

I finally figured out how to use Google Reader. How did you add people's blogs that are set to private like mine and Andrea's? I'd like to do that with a few and they won't add.

Anonymous said...

Okay I confess mine looks like yours and I beat myself up about it but at least I'm not alone... All I can say is dont get a bigger purse it just get worse, It the purse of a busy mom...
Mandy

Prudy said...

Your purse reminds me of Mary Poppin's bottomless carpetbag. The only thing that is in worse upkeep than my purse is my car. It's a giant diaper bag, and I don't even have babies anymore. I'll clean it out when the kids turn eighteen. Erin

Andrea said...

You really are prepared for everything. My purse may just have more trash in it at this moment.

Erika said...

I have absolutely no idea how all that stuff fit in one purse. I kept scrolling and scrolling and scrolling and scrolling...
Love you!!!
PS-I'm glad you're human :-)

Nana said...

The real confession involves how much of that went back into the purse.

Anonymous said...

You need to do what Myrna Mom does, buy a new purse every two weeks and start over.

Love,
Papa

Michal said...

mom,
here are the things that i did not put back: the lipstick, the garbage, about 3/4 of the business cards, the binki thingy, the coupons, my old cell phone, the pencils and sharpener, the old batteries, the WW literature--except my weigh in card, the fabric samples that we rejected, the chew toy and lego-look-alike, and the lip pencil. my purse feels so light! and it should stay that way until at least sunday!

Michal said...

dad (papa),
great idea! would you suggest that to jared, please?

Becster said...

Too funny! I have to say mine was pretty similar until I finally purged it last week. Maybe messy purses run in the family?!?! It feels so good to be cleaned out.

nickandstaci said...

WOW! I was just cleaning my purse out this morning and have to say we are pretty similar in all the odd items in our purses. It is amazing how fast junk collects in these things we carry around with us:)

Malia said...

wow! I could only see the first 2 pictures before reading and scrolling down so I was impressed by how neat and clean you were.... and then I was even more impressed how much stuff you could fit in that bag of yours! How fun! Congrats on the lighter bag!

The Red Hen said...

Michal,

All I can say is you have some "MAD" packing skills!! I am amazed that all of that fit into ONE purse. Thanks for taking my challenge and keepin' it real for all of us!
Love,
--Jana

My Ice Cream Diary said...

YES! FINALLY! I have been wondering why no one in blogland has garbage in their purse, but you were honest enough to let us see it. I'm afraid mine would be very boring. I'm like you in that my hidden spots are grossly in need of cleaning. This is why I don't use a purse, I use a wallet on a string, so all I have are cards and a few receipts. BUT maybe I will show my church bag... *shudder* I'm not sure I'm up to that level of exposure yet. =)

Susan said...

Michal,

You beat me. My personal favorite was the trash. I have a ton of it in my purse. I'm glad I'm not the only one. I'm also grateful that Jana didn't tag me!
Susan

Roger and Julie said...

How wierd!!!! I cleaned out my purse 2 hours ago before seeing your blog. How funny. It did look like yours except for the baby stuff and I have a seperate bag with our Church stuff in it. So I guess what I'm trying to say is,,,,,It won't get better. Once a purse pig always a purse pig. My sister tells me to quit carring a big purse but I am a happy pig! Aunt Julie

Mahina said...

i have that very same bag! it is my "church bag" so it is pretty much filled with the girls "entertainment/distractions" during church.

i can't imagine carrying it around all the time because it does hold so much and gets so heavy! you must have very strong arms/shoulders to carry that around with you! i can't believe you could fit all that stuff in there, actually i can because it is so VERY roomy!

McD said...

Michal, again you have brought me to tears, I thought for sure you were just being overly critical. Nope. This is an example of a run on gag! I just wonder if this is why you married a chripractor,(sp?) your back must be so messed up! By the way, what did you do with the cold stone coupon, I can use it!!

I think you should show us what is under your bed next?

Nicolette said...

Wow, frankly I'm impressed with the amount of stuff you can fit into your purse. I mean wow. I always wish my purse was bigger so I can fit more in it. Now I know who to go to if I need something....for anything:)

Angela said...

Oooh I am glad you didn't tag me- Mine would have been a mess! I am impressed with the church lit! Way to go- you inspiring missionary!

david mcmahon said...

All out of ONE bag!!! That's wonderful.

Lynell said...

It's nice to know I am not alone. When I get one purse all filled up I grab another one. Too funny!

It is always nice to get them cleaned out. I find things I have been missing for a while.

Roger and Julie said...

Hi,
Let me know if the book is any good. Also ask Jared if he got my e-mail? Love. Aunt Julie

Yvonne said...

I too have 2 cel phones... for the same reason...My husband says that I am prepared for Armegedon.. with all that I carry around with me!

a10cowwoman said...

Your purse must be rather large. I got tired of purses and now carry my credit cards and cash in my pockets. But I am running into two problems. 1. I keep loosing my credit cards when I change outfits. 2. What if my outfit doesn't have pockets? Why do women have to carry the purses? You don't see men with them. Why do we always have to have all those things just in case? I have those tendencies too. I am just fighting them right now.

Morgan said...

Very impressive. I think I've mostly got gum that has now lost their wrappers and are covered in dirt. Gross. I know.

mindyluwho said...

I am laughing! When I saw the first photo, I thought, "that's nothing as compared to what was in mine." (I just cleaned it out, but still have pile to go through). But then the pictures just kept going and going and going!

I haven't been around much lately and I miss reading your posts! I'm trying to do some catch up now that summer is just around the corner! We should meet at the park sometime, that one we met at last time has a water park!