Rules to live by

Here are a few rules that may make your life simpler and happier if you don't have to learn them the hard way:

1. Never make a batch of chocolate chip cookies thinking that you'll be able to resist munching the dough until it's gone.
2. Never assume that a recently potty-trained 2 year old who just went to the bathroom is "safe" playing quietly alone in your bedroom. He could explode at any moment (and probably will, all over your just cleaned carpet that is exactly 27 years old and needs all the help it can get to look decent until you finally put in the hardwood floor of your dreams.)
3. Never tell your child that he'll have to sit in front of his breakfast until it's finished unless you want to spend the rest of the day stuck at home while he takes one bite every hour. Why oh why do I engage in battles of will with my children when I know them to be stubborn little punks? (this photo was taken at 12:30 pm. He finally finished his breakfast at 2:37 pm, after which he proceeded to get dressed, make his bed, and do his chores as if it were 8:30 am. So, I guess I won the power struggle, but I lost most of the day.)
   
4. Never get involved in a land war in Asia
5. Only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when is on the line! (for those of you who are confused, time to revisit your copy of The Princess Bride and then take this quiz.)