Sunday, August 30, 2009

Letter to Congress

Dear Congress,

I know that you are all very busy these days debating budgets, naming health care bills after dead Senators, and whether or not sleep deprivation is considered torture, but I would like you to consider a bill that would make you madly popular with mothers everywhere.

Mothers make up a good portion of your constituents and as a whole are far more powerful than any of those big time lobbyists and special interest groups. Think about it-- essentially every voter in the country is somehow influenced by a mother: their own, the mother of their children, or some other woman that they've latched onto as a mother-figure. So if you can please the mothers, you've got it made!

Here's what I want you to do: enact a new law that moms get six more hours in the day than everybody else has. Implementation and logistics are up to you to figure out, but they need to be hours when everyone else is either frozen in time or sleeping. I'm sure that the writers of Heroes could help you out if you need some ideas. They've got time travel all figured out.

If I had six more hours each day, here are a few of the things I would do:
  • I'd read every day instead of just in spurts. I have been plowing through Vanity Fair for the past four months. Now that's sad. But reading the classics keeps my mind sharp and challenged--and if it's good for me, it's good for my family, community, and country.
  • I'd blog every day. I'd have time to compose profound and meaningful posts about life, motherhood, patriotism, and sometimes food. I'd make a difference in people's lives. I might also have time to figure out how to make some money from this hobby, which would improve the economy.
  • I'd keep up on my pedicures. This would be appreciated by all who know me, I assure you.
  • I'd read more to my kids (during their waking hours) and put off some of my housework for these extra six. Better educated kids= better America!
  • I'd organize all my closets and cupboards and maybe actually paint them as I've been planning to do for nearly six years. I'm not sure how this would benefit my fellow men, but I would definitely like it!
  • I'd call my friends and sisters-in-law who have all but given up on me since I had my third baby (let alone since I started homeschooling); we'd have time to talk to each other without our kids constantly interrupting or trying to severely wound each other.
  • And if I'm being completely honest, I would probably spend some of this time baking cookies that I shouldn't eat, taking a nap, window shopping online for things I can't afford, looking up old friends on facebook, and other unproductive pursuits. But I wouldn't spend ALL of my time this way.
So you see, these six hours would add up to make a major difference in my life, which would impact my family, community, and country for good. Just imagine if all mothers had these extra six hours. We could probably solve every problem under the sun! So get to work on making this one happen, and we'll take care of your other headaches.


A Mother with a Plan

P.S. If sleep deprivation is considered torture, then the mothers of America have had lots of practice in enduring such torture. Maybe some of your special investigators should talk to some moms before taking away all of the CIA's interrogation strategies. Yes, sleep deprivation does make you a little crazy, but cruel and unusual? Hardly.

P.P.S. On second thought, maybe 10 hours is a better idea . . .

Readers: What would you do with six more hours in the day? Click on the comment button and let your voice be heard!:)


Nancy said...

Go congressional mandate!

GRAMEE said...

i am a gramee now but i know plenty of moms! i will email my congressman!
you have got something here!

Sea Star said...

and extra 6 hours? Wow would that be nice. 6 hours to finally get around to making that great Pita Bread Recipe that has been sitting on my desktop waiting for me to try.

The bathrooms could us a much needed deep cleaning.

Each of my kids could use a bit of one on one time with Mom. That doesn't happen very often at all.

My husband too could use some one on one time with me. I almost always have a baby to deal with, or I am asleep, at the moment.

Anonymous said...

I would take the time to do my hair every day AND put on makeup. I would never miss a work out (since lack of time is always the reason I might skip it, yeah right). And I would figure out a way to get you and the baby to Texas before the official "fall season" starts. I miss the days when I had a personal shopper... :)


Kim said...

I'm dreaming of a 6 hour block of sleep. What was it like...?

mindyluwho said...

Quilting...Reading...Exercising (maybe)...Taking a class at the junior college...

Christine said...

yeahh-- if only--

Ashley said...

I could not begin to list the things I would do. Do you think you could make it eight instead of six?

Anonymous said...

Oooo, an extra 6 hours?! I could sure use it for lots of things--baking, sleeping, reading--I've hardly read at all in the last 4 weeks. You'd think I was homeschooling or something. Speaking of which I could always use more time to get hs planning done. I already feel behind and we're only 4 weeks in. I've always wished I was one of those people that only needed 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night. Unfortunately, that is so not me!

a10cowwoman said...

Not a bad plan, but do you really think congress can get anything right? With my six extra hours I'd read, study and write letters.