We had an experience this weekend that reminded me to really savor this time I have with my children and to show them more love and tenderness. I was also reminded how constantly vigilant I need to be about their safety. Our sweet little Bronwen came very close to drowning and I can't stop thinking about how different everything might be if Henry hadn't seen her when he did. I am so indescribably grateful to Heavenly Father for sparing her life. I know that others have had to endure different outcomes and we don't always know why some are spared and some are taken, but I cannot deny that she was spared because of His tender mercies.
We have all been squeezing her a bit tighter in the past 24 hours, shuddering when we allow ourselves to contemplate what might have been or reliving those harrowing moments when we weren't sure what the outcome would be. I have never had a more awful feeling in my life, and I have had some terribly painful moments before this.
I wasn't sure if I was going to share this or not, partly because it is so horrible that I don't really want to talk about it, but I decided to because I wanted to share what I'm taking away from it with you. Please, please, please don't take your children for granted and this time you have with them. My kids have been pretty challenging in the past two weeks since I had Margaret-- and even though I knew it was because they lacked a routine or anything like normalcy, I have had a hard time being patient with them. I know that it's natural for kids to get under your skin, but I am just so grateful to have them that I found myself today having a greater capacity to be calm and to show tenderness inspite of my fatigue.
We have also been too casual about our kids in the pool. The boys are strong swimmers and Bronwen is a pro in her waterwings, paddling all over the pool. If we are near the pool and they are in, I don't have my eyes on them all the time. But this time, Bronwen got out, took off her waterwings, and then wandered back over and went into the pool because she saw a ladybug. No one noticed her take them off. No one saw her get back in. No one saw or heard her go under. You can bet that I will be sitting at the edge of the pool (if not in it) from now on with my eyes on any non-swimmers more vigilantly than I have in the past. The risks are too great. So please be very very very careful.
My little Meg is crying now for her late-night supper and I'm off to fatten her up. Go kiss your kids and say a prayer of gratitude for them. I know I will.