Nora's Birth Story

Introducing . . . Nora Allison. This sweet bundle joined our family on October 4th. She couldn't possibly be more adored by her brothers, sisters, and parents. 

    As her mother, I particularly feel that Nora is a blessing from heaven. You see, we were feeling pretty content (and at times, overwhelmed) with our family of seven. Five kids kept us busy as can be, and with three boys and two girls, I thought we really had the perfect family. Then, one day just over a year ago, when I was praying about something completely unrelated, I was suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling that there was one more baby waiting to join our family.

    Although I immediately knew that we would do what Heavenly Father wanted, I will admit that I spent a few weeks asking Him if He was sure, if I had heard correctly, if there wasn't some mistake. I felt inadequate. I was scared. I wondered how we could make room in our lives for a baby. But there was no mistake. Time after time when I asked, I felt a warmth and a peace that only comes from the Lord. I knew we needed to take a leap of faith and have another baby. I knew that we would be blessed by this child and would always be grateful that we had listened to the promptings of the Holy Ghost to expand our family. But I still didn't know HOW it was going to work.

    Throughout my pregnancy, I will admit that I mostly tried to not think of what life would be like when she was born. Not because I didn't want her, but because I still wasn't sure about the how. But I knew that it would be okay.

    Towards the end, I needed lots of help. My blood pressure started rising and my doctor told me to cut back my activities. Each week when I saw him, he told me to cut back some more. Thankfully, unlike two previous pregnancies when high blood pressure had been an issue, this time the baby seemed unaffected by it. Friends and family reached out to me and insisted they help. At first it was hard to accept, but I knew I needed to do what was best for the baby and my own health, and had to humble myself.

    Then, three weeks and two days before she was due, I had a miserable night. My blood pressure had been harder to control, even with rest, for the past three days, and on this night, I could barely sleep because I kept having contractions. I knew I needed to get checked out at the hospital-- they aren't really keen on having a woman with 5 previous C-sections labor because of the risk of uterine rupture-- but I had also been through this kind of thing before. I knew that I would get to the hospital and my contractions would stop, my blood pressure would drop, and after several hours they would send me home. So I waited for morning. After I dropped my kids off at school and preschool, I headed in to get checked out. Things felt different and I fully expected to deliver our baby sooner than her scheduled delivery date which was still over two weeks away.

    Sure enough, my contractions stopped cold as soon as they began monitoring me and my blood pressure dropped after about half an hour of resting. The nurses assured me that I'd be going home soon, but that my doctor had ordered some labs just to be sure. I am sure they get plenty of women coming in with a few weeks to go in their pregnancy, desperate to find a reason to deliver early and have pregnancy over with, but  I am not one of those women. I knew that Nora was going to make her entrance sooner rather than later.

    The labs came back with results that landed me an overnight in the hospital while they ran more tests. It seemed that my kidneys were struggling and that the PIH was affecting me, even though the baby appeared to be fine. They gave me one of those nifty steroid shots that help the baby's lungs just in case, and I spent the next several hours figuring out the logistics of my family's needs with mommy in the hospital. Even though they were saying I would be in for 24 hours, I went ahead and made arrangements for help with kids, meals, etc, through the end of the week, feeling like it would be easy to cancel if needed. (Wouldn't you know it, my mom was out of town, visiting my brother and his wife and newest baby.) Thankfully, I had many people offer to help and had it all figured out by dinner time.

    The next day, after more labs, my amazing Dr. S. and I agreed that we were not going to wait for Nora's scheduled c-section, still two weeks away. We decided to wait one more day to give the steroids the best effect, and scheduled the c-section for 5pm the following day.

     The next evening we welcomed our sweet baby into the world. It took the doctors quite a while to work through all my scar tissue after so many surgeries; we were all bantering about needing a saw and talking in a relaxed way. When they got to my uterus, I heard the tone of my doctor's voice change. 

"Have you been having contractions, Michal?" 

"I had them the day and night before I checked into the hospital, but they have mostly gone away since I've been in bed here," I replied.

"I think we are delivering this baby on the right day," he said, sounding somewhat solemn.

    Apparently, my uterus was so thin that he proceeded to open it with his finger, not even needing a tool. When he did so, it sort of fell apart. My friend, Kristen, who was there and who is a L&D nurse, said after one look at it, she was sure that I would need a hysterectomy on the spot, because they would never get that fragile, spent organ sewn together again. Miraculously, they were able to stitch up the silvery tissue just as it needed to be. We all felt that it was God's hand that prevented my uterus from rupturing earlier, during my contractions (which would have been extremely serious and life threatening to both Nora and me), and that allowed me to avoid hemorrhaging or a hysterectomy.

    I am so grateful for this sweet little girl in my life. I am grateful for the Lord's tender mercies in sparing her life and mine, as well as for the many, many people He has prompted to bless us with help over the past months. 

    

    Our life is crazy with six kids, to be sure, but blessed and wonderful. I love being a mother, even though it pushes me to my very limits sometimes; even though I make mistakes and have to apologize to my children; even though it wreaks havoc on my sleep, my body, and my patience. It is the best choice that I have ever made and I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to be a mother to these six wonderful kids. 

Wordless Wednesday-- Homecoming

Before Bedtime Thoughts

It has been an emotional day for me, but this evening I am feeling peace and the love of the Lord and wanted to share here.

The second/third day after my c-sections are always very weepy for me. Anyone else's body work like that? I just know that the day after my c-sections I feel high as a kite, call tons of people, welcome visitors, get up and move around. Then, the next day hits. I am tired and so very sore (it may have to do with the fact that the morphine is totally out of my system by then), weepy, and not sure if I want to see anyone or have anyone see me in my weepy state. I dread every phone call (even though to a certain extent they are good for me) because I fear that I'll start crying in the midst of any conversation--and in most, I do.

So that was today for me. Throw into that the fact that my blood pressure hasn't dropped like they wanted and finally today they started expressing concern about it. And that Margaret has decided at about half of her feedings in the past 24 hours that she'd just as soon not eat, which means that they are feeding her passively (via gavage tube), which means that there is a very good chance she won't come home with me on Friday. Water works.

I tried talking myself through it this afternoon. I tried reciting scriptures to myself that generally help me to remember to have faith. I tried calling my husband (but just sobbed to him to the point that he was sure I was hysterical.) I tried praying but not on my knees, since I couldn't possibly do that right now, and I kept finding my mind wandering. Part of the problem is my pain killers make it hard to focus on much of anything. Anyway, I was a blubbery mess this afternoon.

But tonight I am better. When I went to see and feed Margaret at 6:00 she didn't want to eat, but I held her and loved her and felt some peace returning. I was able to remind myself not to waste energy worrying about things that were out of my control. Then Jared came. He and his dad gave me (and then the baby) a priesthood blessing. Basically, they use the power of their preisthood to bless me with the things that they feel prompted that the Lord wants to tell me. I love priesthood blessings and really felt Heavenly Father wrapping His arms around me tonight. I was also reminded that He gives us trials for a reason and that I shouldn't expect that my life will be without them. Of course I already knew this, but I wasn't really thinking that way. I need to remember that He gives us trials so that we learn to rely on Him and also that His works may be made manifest. He wants me to see His power and blessings in my life, and I need the trials for that.

Margaret ate so well tonight after her blessing. She started out acting sleepy and lethargic as she had been doing, but then all of a sudden she latched on and went to town. She had a great feeding and was bright-eyed for us. We had such a nice time there with her, enjoying our daughter. I left feeling much better. Much, much better.

We still need your prayers. I don't know what is up with my health at the moment, although there is no reason for us to worry either. More importantly, we need to exercise our faith to help Margaret have the energy and desire to eat every 3 hours so that she can come home and be with our family. I know that so many people love us and care about our situation--please pray for Margaret and for me that I won't be a basket case and for Jared that he'll be able to handle me even when I am!

In the meantime, here are a few of the scriptures that have been coming to my head over the course of this week and the trials that we've had (I know I still haven't delivered on the promise of her birth story, but that's for another post. I need some sleep.)

Be still and know that I am God.-- D&C 101:16

Search diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good.-- D&C 90:24

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowlege Him, and He will direct thy paths.--Proverbs 3:5-6

I love the scriptures and am so grateful that the Lord uses them to comfort us in times of need. I am so grateful to be able to turn to Him in my trials and that He hears my pleas. I am grateful to know that He knows my pain, my needs, my fears, and desires to bless me.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

Introducing . . .

Margaret Kaylyn

born: June 22, 2009 1:44 pm

weight: 4 lbs 5 oz

length: 18 inches

answers to Margaret, Meg, Meggie, Megs, Baby Meg, and "My Mawrgwet"

I told Jared that we could go low-key this year on my birthday, especially since it was the day after Fathers' Day and a week before our daughter was scheduled to arrive. However, our day was anything but low-key, and culminated in the birth of Margaret. I'll post the birth story soon, but wanted to make sure that those of you who don't follow me on facebook or twitter heard our good news.

By the way, Margaret was my maternal grandmother's name, and Kaylyn is taken from my mom's and my MIL's middle names to honor both of them. Thus, this precious little daughter of ours (and I do mean little-yowsahs!) has some wonderful namesakes to emulate.

Three Favorite Cupcakes

You know me and food! Here are a few things I'm nibbling on lately:

1. My newest nephew, Colin Joseph F.
This sweet little cupcake was born early in the AM of June 16th. He is just perfect and beautiful and tiny and so fresh from heaven.Don't you just want to eat him up? His mom, dad, and big brother are so happy to have him here and his aunt is also quite pleased. The only thing that matches the birth of your own babies is the birth of your SISTER'S babies. My only regret is that I can't be there at the house with them 24/7, but both grandmas are staying there and my kids and I would probably not be the best addition to that tiny house. Sigh.

2. Icing on the Cupcake
This little cupcake bakery nearby-ish is irresistible. I'm just grateful that they aren't around the corner or the temptation would be greater. Here's their menu--each day they have some featured flavors as well as their daily goodness. I've already fallen head over heels for their Chocolate Peanut Butter and Chocolate Macaroon. I think when I head back in this week, I'll ask them if they will offer a discount, promotion, or giveaway for my local readers. Anyone interested? Yummy yum yummy!

3. Conversations with a Cupcake
I discovered this blog via Nienie's. She created a special chocolate cake in honor of Nienie (which will be my birthday cake next week, I promise you.) Her blog is both beautiful and choc full of delicious-looking recipes. I'll admit that I haven't made any of them yet, but just reading this blog makes me happy. So go check it out!

What makes you happy today?

30 Days

Today is June 1st. On the last day of this month (unless she is a plan-spoiler like her older sister,) our new daughter will be born. Of course we look forward to that day with excitement and joy, but I will confess that I always also dread labor day--or at least the six weeks that follow. The last 30 days sends me into a frenzy of to do lists and anxiety.

You see, as much as I adore having a new baby, as much as I weep at the miracle of each new birth, as much as I treasure holding that special little child in my arms, I am a wreck after I have a baby. I am not one of those girls who bounces back, showing up at parties in cute clothes when the baby is a week old. Oh, no. When I have a baby, I lock myself in the house, avoiding contact with everyone except my mother, whom I cling to pathetically, and anyone who brings by a meal. I don't get any projects done for a LONG, LONG time, and don't want my picture taken for a year.

So, knowing that I'll accomplish absolutely nothing except for keeping my children alive in the weeks following her birth, my last 30 days are for scurrying around, trying to cram in everything that I won't get to later. Here's my list:

• Get the girls' closet organized, with a wire organizer and cubbies added for new baby's clothes, blankets, burpcloths, etc.
• Buy the fabric for the new bedskirt and cribskirt (anyone have a Joann's coupon sitting around?)
  
• Dig out the newborn baby clothes from the garage (which are hiding behind a barricade of my mom's stuff); determine which, if any, can be used for a summer baby. Wash them.
• Take a weekend getaway with my husband. Sleep in. Read a lot. Pay attention to him. Eat out. (scheduled)
• Look for acts of service to perform every or most days for other people.
• Go to the temple two more times. (scheduled)
  
• Take the kids swimming as much as possible.
• Win free ice cream for a year.
• Have at least two playdates for my kids every week in June at my house.
• Get my ironing pile down to nothing or at least down to the week's Sunday clothes.
• Take my boys to art camp, twilight camp, and swim lessons (scheduled).
• Help my sister with her new baby, coming soon . . .
  
• Help my mom get settled into her new house, coming soon . . .
  
• Read the new writing curriculum I bought for next year.
• Research and order a science and Latin curriculum for next year.
• Visit the new homeopathic/holistic pediatrician and make sure he's the right fit for us.
• Post on my blog more often.
• Plan and execute Sharing Time every Sunday in June.
• Stop eating so many sweets--getting down to one a day would be a good start!
• Drop off some stuff at D.I. and the recycling center.
• Finish ancient India and China chapters in history.
• Finish up math curriculum for the year (Henry has one more lesson, Kimball has five.)
• Mail off a package to Scrappy that was mis-addressed at Christmas time and still sits in my bedroom.
• Make more pickles (love this recipe from Prudence Pennywise).
• Get a pedicure.
  

This list is sure to grow as quickly as I check things off, but I have learned (with one preemie and one baby who decided to be born 8 days before her scheduled c-section, baby shower, and my hair cut-and-color) that we will all survive if the list doesn't get completed. Still, I will be plugging away at it, come what may, for the NEXT 30 DAYS. And hopefully, when labor day comes, I'll be able to relax and enjoy it as much as my hormones will let me!



What are you doing in June?

The baby who slept

Three years ago this week, we welcomed our third baby into the family. I had a great deal of trepidation in the weeks before Ian's birth, and none of my anxiety was about childbirth (after all, it was a scheduled c-section. What's scary about that?) My transition to two children, two and a half years previously, had been difficult for a number of reasons. But that post about Henry's first months is for another day. The point is, I was scared to death that I would have another baby who cried a lot, required me to change my diet dramatically, never slept, and that I would spend six months struggling with post-partum depression. Could I dare hope that this baby would be an "easy" baby, like those I'd heard about before?
Some of you will say that there are no easy babies, but I beg to differ. If you start off with a preemie who doesn't know how to eat and is easily overstimulated (and turns out to be on the autistic spectrum a few years later,) and then follow that up with a baby who has colic and wants to be held at all times, awake or asleep, then a third baby who sleeps a lot, eats quickly and greedily, and has an even temper is easy as can be. And Ian turned out to be such a child. Thank goodness that he was, because I still had my hands full with his older brothers.
Ian has continued to be a complete delight to his parents. We fiercely love all of our children, but it has been easy to enjoy Ian because he is almost always light hearted, rambunctious, hysterical, and the boy can sleep! By the time he was seven weeks old, he was sleeping 12 hours straight at night--that's without waking up to eat-- and taking two naps a day. He has also been so flexible in his schedule. Of course, you will say, the third child has to be flexible. You are always having to wake them up to pick up someone from school or go on a playdate. That is true, but not all children who have their sleep disrupted regularly do so without being miserable to live with.
Ian also seems to be about as typical as a little boy can be. He is into pirates and cowboys and trains and dinosaurs. He takes imaginative play to a level that I haven't witnessed with our other children. He demands that we sing to him before bed. His favorites: Sweet Baby James and Ragtime Cowboy Joe, although he does also request the "Dog Bites" song (My Favorite Things). And he makes us laugh every day.
So, as we celebrate his third birthday (with everything cowboy) this week, both Jared & I feel so grateful to have this little guy in our lives. Each of our children teaches us different things and in different ways. I think that Ian has helped us to relax and to relish.
Happy Birthday, little cowboy. We love you.