Nora's Birth Story

Introducing . . . Nora Allison. This sweet bundle joined our family on October 4th. She couldn't possibly be more adored by her brothers, sisters, and parents. 

    As her mother, I particularly feel that Nora is a blessing from heaven. You see, we were feeling pretty content (and at times, overwhelmed) with our family of seven. Five kids kept us busy as can be, and with three boys and two girls, I thought we really had the perfect family. Then, one day just over a year ago, when I was praying about something completely unrelated, I was suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling that there was one more baby waiting to join our family.

    Although I immediately knew that we would do what Heavenly Father wanted, I will admit that I spent a few weeks asking Him if He was sure, if I had heard correctly, if there wasn't some mistake. I felt inadequate. I was scared. I wondered how we could make room in our lives for a baby. But there was no mistake. Time after time when I asked, I felt a warmth and a peace that only comes from the Lord. I knew we needed to take a leap of faith and have another baby. I knew that we would be blessed by this child and would always be grateful that we had listened to the promptings of the Holy Ghost to expand our family. But I still didn't know HOW it was going to work.

    Throughout my pregnancy, I will admit that I mostly tried to not think of what life would be like when she was born. Not because I didn't want her, but because I still wasn't sure about the how. But I knew that it would be okay.

    Towards the end, I needed lots of help. My blood pressure started rising and my doctor told me to cut back my activities. Each week when I saw him, he told me to cut back some more. Thankfully, unlike two previous pregnancies when high blood pressure had been an issue, this time the baby seemed unaffected by it. Friends and family reached out to me and insisted they help. At first it was hard to accept, but I knew I needed to do what was best for the baby and my own health, and had to humble myself.

    Then, three weeks and two days before she was due, I had a miserable night. My blood pressure had been harder to control, even with rest, for the past three days, and on this night, I could barely sleep because I kept having contractions. I knew I needed to get checked out at the hospital-- they aren't really keen on having a woman with 5 previous C-sections labor because of the risk of uterine rupture-- but I had also been through this kind of thing before. I knew that I would get to the hospital and my contractions would stop, my blood pressure would drop, and after several hours they would send me home. So I waited for morning. After I dropped my kids off at school and preschool, I headed in to get checked out. Things felt different and I fully expected to deliver our baby sooner than her scheduled delivery date which was still over two weeks away.

    Sure enough, my contractions stopped cold as soon as they began monitoring me and my blood pressure dropped after about half an hour of resting. The nurses assured me that I'd be going home soon, but that my doctor had ordered some labs just to be sure. I am sure they get plenty of women coming in with a few weeks to go in their pregnancy, desperate to find a reason to deliver early and have pregnancy over with, but  I am not one of those women. I knew that Nora was going to make her entrance sooner rather than later.

    The labs came back with results that landed me an overnight in the hospital while they ran more tests. It seemed that my kidneys were struggling and that the PIH was affecting me, even though the baby appeared to be fine. They gave me one of those nifty steroid shots that help the baby's lungs just in case, and I spent the next several hours figuring out the logistics of my family's needs with mommy in the hospital. Even though they were saying I would be in for 24 hours, I went ahead and made arrangements for help with kids, meals, etc, through the end of the week, feeling like it would be easy to cancel if needed. (Wouldn't you know it, my mom was out of town, visiting my brother and his wife and newest baby.) Thankfully, I had many people offer to help and had it all figured out by dinner time.

    The next day, after more labs, my amazing Dr. S. and I agreed that we were not going to wait for Nora's scheduled c-section, still two weeks away. We decided to wait one more day to give the steroids the best effect, and scheduled the c-section for 5pm the following day.

     The next evening we welcomed our sweet baby into the world. It took the doctors quite a while to work through all my scar tissue after so many surgeries; we were all bantering about needing a saw and talking in a relaxed way. When they got to my uterus, I heard the tone of my doctor's voice change. 

"Have you been having contractions, Michal?" 

"I had them the day and night before I checked into the hospital, but they have mostly gone away since I've been in bed here," I replied.

"I think we are delivering this baby on the right day," he said, sounding somewhat solemn.

    Apparently, my uterus was so thin that he proceeded to open it with his finger, not even needing a tool. When he did so, it sort of fell apart. My friend, Kristen, who was there and who is a L&D nurse, said after one look at it, she was sure that I would need a hysterectomy on the spot, because they would never get that fragile, spent organ sewn together again. Miraculously, they were able to stitch up the silvery tissue just as it needed to be. We all felt that it was God's hand that prevented my uterus from rupturing earlier, during my contractions (which would have been extremely serious and life threatening to both Nora and me), and that allowed me to avoid hemorrhaging or a hysterectomy.

    I am so grateful for this sweet little girl in my life. I am grateful for the Lord's tender mercies in sparing her life and mine, as well as for the many, many people He has prompted to bless us with help over the past months. 

    

    Our life is crazy with six kids, to be sure, but blessed and wonderful. I love being a mother, even though it pushes me to my very limits sometimes; even though I make mistakes and have to apologize to my children; even though it wreaks havoc on my sleep, my body, and my patience. It is the best choice that I have ever made and I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to be a mother to these six wonderful kids. 

Lunch Date

In a family with five kids, having quality one-on-one time with them can be challenging. I will admit that on a daily basis, they get a few moments of one-on-one, but not usually big chunks of time all to themselves. In order to guarantee a little more individual face time, Jared and I try to take them out on a lunch date one at a time. We are not consistent with it-- it seems to happen more in spurts-- but it is something that our kids really look forward to.

As long as it is reasonable, we let them choose the venue for their date. Sometimes a kid chooses to grab some fast food and go to the park together. The older boys like to choose a restaurant where they can get dessert or chips and salsa (or both). Bronwen prefers a cupcake date.

This Friday, it was Ian's turn for some one-on-one. He picked me (Jared usually gets these dates) and said he wanted to have lunch at Bel Air, our local grocery store. I was really in the mood for restaurant food, but we only had an hour before we needed to be home, and I reminded myself that this was HIS date, not mine, so off we went.

We perused their prepared lunches section. I chose a roast beef and fontina sandwich on a sourdough roll, Ian found a little lunchbox with a turkey sandwich, goldfish, applesauce, and a juice box. We also grabbed his favorite potato chips (gotta love Lay's), some shortbread cookies from the bakery, which we planned to share with the others when we returned, and a doughnut for him. Okay, so I never claimed that these dates were healthy.

We sat outside at a little bistro table and Ian talked my ear off. If you know Ian, that wouldn't surprise you one bit; but what surprised me is that he dropped the goofy act that he often uses to get attention. He wasn't babbling nonsense, he didn't use baby talk-- no signs of the silly personality he uses with the family (except when the camera came out). Instead, he talked about things that interested both of us. He told me all about school and his classroom (his favorite part is his teacher, he said), about new friends he has made, and about ways that he has gone out of his way to be kind to other kids in his class.

It was a delightful hour spent, and it reminded me how much we both needed some extended one-on-one time with each other. It also allowed me to peek at a side of my own son that I don't get to see often enough. I am so proud of the young man that he is becoming.

How do you meet the challenge of giving your kids one-on-one attention? Tell me I am not the only one who struggles with this!

Seasons Change

"To every thing there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven." Ecclesiates 3:1

Four years ago, we started a wonderful adventure that we hadn't anticipated: homeschooling. I knew at the time that it might not be the right thing for us for our kids' entire educational careers, but we knew it was the right thing for our family at the time. Over the past four years, I grew to love homeschooling and the lifestyle it allowed us. I loved the time together the most. Sure, we had plenty of spats, of teasing, of crying, of all the typical sibling conflicts and mommy meltdowns, but we also had lot of fun together, lots of spiritual experiences together, and lots of learning together. We learned to cooperate more and to deal with our differences in a way that we might not have done if we were all going our separate ways for most of the day.

This year, the direction we got from Heavenly Father was different. It made me feel sad, scared, nervous, excited (for them), guilty, hopeful, and a slew of other emotions. At first, we only had the guts to commit Henry and Ian to returning to school in a new charter school, but as the school year approached, we began to feel strongly that Kimball should participate as well. Much like our decision to homeschool four years ago, this decision was one that we spent lots of time praying and agonizing over, and in the end, proceeded with the confidence that it was the right choice for our family.

So, on the day after Labor Day (which is the perfect day to start school, by the way), our boys donned their new uniforms, grabbed their backpacks, lunch sacks, water bottles, and set off for school. I am sure that I was more nervous than they, and I am the only one who cried that morning. I managed to keep it to moist eyes until I kissed Ian good-bye in his first grade class and had to bolt out the door because Ugly Cry was coming on fast.

So far, we have been too busy to miss them much during the day. Bronwen did remind me the first day about 100 times to go get her brothers from school, but once her co-op preschool and ballet class started up, we found ourselves quite scheduled during the school day. I also jumped into the new charter school with both feet and took a big role on the fundraising committee as we did a huge kick-off fundraising dinner and auction event last weekend. People ask me what I am doing with the extra time I presumably have because I am not schooling my children all morning, but I haven't found any extra time!

The boys are all making new friends, rising to new heights, gaining confidence, and learning loads of interesting things every day. Kimball even moved up to 7th grade after three weeks in 6th! We are all adjusting to them having less free time and more homework and deadlines, but I remind myself that they are learning some discipline that wasn't necessary when I was their teacher. It is good for all of us.

I am so grateful for the homeschooling season of my life, and look forward to the ways that my family will be blessed by this new season. Will we ever return to homeschooling? Maybe. We're just taking it one year at a time. But for now, I know that my kids are just where they need to be, and that feels wonderful.

Things I'll Miss

 After months of studying, considering, and praying, Jared and I have decided to send Henry and Ian to a new charter school in our area next year. I don't know if this means the beginning of a new era for us or if it will just be what school looks like for one school year, but it means saying good-bye to some of the things that I cherish about home schooling the entire family together. I know that we want to do the right thing for them, and to help them gain the experiences that they will need in life, so we will keep an open mind through this school year and prayerfully consider what comes next, but deep down in my heart I am hopeful that the answer comes to return to homeschooling. Here are some of the things I will miss:

• Moving at our own pace in the mornings. Even though we stick to a routine, it only roughly matches the clock. I do not look forward to having everyone ready to go in the morning and out the door before 8:00 am, especially since we need to have family devotional, breakfast, chores, and piano practice done by then! I will need to pray for a zen attitude, as rushing children who do not want to be rushed is a quick way to push my stress levels into the next stratosphere!
• Studying world history together. This is one of our absolute favorite things to learn about together, and is a part of daily conversations in our home. Their new school is classics based and will include the study of world history, but I love doing it together.
• Having so much time as a family. We learn together, work together, go to the park and the library and the store together, watch TV together, read books together . . . you get the picture. This family will be going separate directions each day. This makes me really sad and is probably the biggest reason that I hope we go back to home schooling after a year or two in school. I will be very protective of our afternoons and evenings when they are going to school each day. Family time is vital.
• Having them do so much work around our home! This year they have really made a big difference in the day to day housework, and I know that if they are gone for a big chunk of the day, the morning chores will be rushed and rarely teaching moments. Hopefully, since this school is promising minimal homework, I'll be able to get plenty of work out of them in the afternoons!;)
• Being able to take a day once in a while to just cozy up by the fire and read, or spend the whole day doing science experiments, or to give in to spring fever and go on a nature walk and look at birds instead of sitting around the table looking at math facts.
• No homework! Do I need to say more? Beyond just not wanting to deal with homework and other teachers' deadlines, I love that our afternoons are free to participate in other activities, run and play with the neighborhood kids, or curl up with a book. 

I believe that lots of good will come from this experience. My girls will get more of my attention. I will be able to help Kimball focus on some fabulous things he has been wanting to do more of. Henry will have more opportunities to gain some independence and make some friends. Ian will get to be in an environment where he is not the middle child, where he can see his own strengths instead of always comparing himself to his older (and thus, more advanced) brothers. 

I hope that fellow home schoolers  will not feel defensive or judgmental about our decision. It has not been done lightly, nor without a certain amount of anguish. I know that it is possible to teach your children everything they need without ever sending them to school, but we really feel that this is the right thing, right now, for these two boys. We are not "giving up" on homeschooling. What will come the following year? Only time and inspiration will tell. But I promise that I will shed real tears on August 22nd when they start school and the rest of us return home without them for the day. And perhaps for a few days after that. I have really treasured these years with my children all around me, learning together.

(Photos all courtesy of Bronwen, who swiped my camera at the park.)

Thursday Thanks

My dear SIL, Tamara, author of the 31 Dates in 31 Days blog (and soon-to-be-book), suggested last Thursday that we take time each Thursday this month to count our blessings and to feel grateful. This completely tied in with some counsel we recently received from Thomas S. Monson, counsel which hit home when he said it. Here is a little of what he said,

"We can lift ourselves and others as well when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude. If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues. Someone has said that “gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.”

I also came across a little saying this summer that gave me pause, as being content instead of wanting stuff is a struggle of mine: "The secret to having it all is believing that you do!"


Anyway, I decided to take it a step beyond commenting on Tam's blog. I need to cultivate within my heart (and the hearts of my children) and attitude of gratitude. Additionally, I need to get back on the wagon with blogging. I miss it. I miss hearing your comments. I miss feeling like we are in this whole crazy thing together. So I am going to try to post every Thursday indefinitely about something for which I am grateful. Sometime it may just be a quick list, sometimes something more thoughtful. But I'm hoping it will help me to see how truly blessed I am and prompt others to count their blessings as well.


So, this Thursday Thanks post is going to be about how grateful I am that I feel supported and helped so much in raising my family. My mom, Jared's parents, and many friends help us all the time in making this work. I honestly don't know if I could have had five children without so much support from these people. I am thankful for the people who are a good example in my kids' lives; for Cub Scout leaders, teachers at church, piano teachers, coaches, neighbors, and friends who go out of their way to know my children and to help mold them into people of virtue, of integrity, of kindness.


Today during Kimball and Henry's rock climbing class, I took my younger kids to a nearby sanctuary zoo and invited a friend to come along and bring her granddaughter. We had a great time, but over the course of the outing a couple of my children had some not-so-nice moments that included whining, pouting, fighting with each other, and even hitting. The drive home was excruciating because they were over-stimulated, over-tired, and touching each other (heaven forbid). I was so thankful to have Nancy there with me-- not judging at all, but rather commiserating and giggling a little with me over their ridiculous behavior. As frustrated as I was with the kids, because of the way that she acted I wasn't mortified, nor was I afraid that she thought they were monsters. It's the little things that count in friendship and that help us moms feel supported instead of torn down. Thanks, Nancy!

To my mom and in-laws who are always so willing to help watch kids or take them on a fun outing, I am so grateful. I really believe that home schooling is the best choice for us and a blessing, but sometimes we need a little space from one another for an hour or two and our parents help facilitate that for the good of both the kids and me.


I'm thankful for Kimball's Primary (Sunday School) teacher, who never acts like she is irritated with him, nor grumpy that he is her responsibility, even when he is sliding out of this chair or making silly noises during a quiet moment. She does her best to understand his challenges, handles them matter-of-factly, and loves him for his strengths. She is as gem.

There are so many others who help and support me as a mom in raising these five wonderful, spirited, unique little people, and I am grateful for each and every one.

What are you grateful for today?

Wordless Wednesday-- October

Yes, I know it's over. Nearly weeks ago. And I didn't post once. So here's a quick glimpse:


Somebody please tell me that they took pictures of my kids in their Halloween costumes. Our party was a great success but I was running constantly during it-- and my kids started throwing up immediately following (a tricky way to infect everyone we know with the stomach flu)--so I was dismayed, but not shocked, to see that these are the ONLY TWO PICTURES taken on my camera of my kids in their costumes. Not good. (And Kimball and Henry are still in the family, in spite of successfully avoiding the camera this month.)

The Frenzy of Fall

Fall is my favorite season, but it also seems to be the busiest in our household.

Fall is when we have the longest school days, chock full of world history, foreign language, literature, math, art, PE, science, field trips, writing, etc. In fall I am ambitious and willing to give more to homeschooling to the point of being a little ridiculous.

Fall is soccer season, the only team sport played in our family so far.

Fall is a very busy time of year in Jared's business, and this year it has been even busier as we have been remodeling a new office and preparing to move over into it soon. We host a big Patient Appreciation Day and canned food drive, and this year we'll also have a ribbon cutting and open house to show off the new space. Both events require food and drink. My mom and sister are helping me with catering this year so that I don't go absolutely crazy next month.:)

Fall is a busy time for my calling in the Primary, the children's ministry in our church. This year I am the President in our (ward) congregation, which means that the responsibility for all that goes on rests on my shoulders. Thankfully I have some wonderful counselors and teachers who help carry that load.

Fall is also full of traditions that we wouldn't miss. A trip or two to Apple Hill, a favorite spot in the Sierra foothills; a Halloween party/open house in our home; lots of favorite foods to be made; and traditions that seem to take up the entire Thanksgiving weekend with family visiting from out of town.

This year, as per usual, I am up to my ears in busy days. Jared and I collapse into bed each night, shaking our heads at how crazy the day has been. Thankfully, these busy days are full of good things and time spent together (at least my time spent together with the kids, that is!)

Just before the fall crazies hit, the week of Labor Day, our family took a much needed vacation. Ten days in Newport Beach, CA. We had ten days to be together, exploring the beach, running all over Disneyland for a 14 hour day, visiting with family and friends, and just getting away from the responsibilities of every day life. It was heavenly. All good things must come to an end, but I am so glad that we had this opportunity before the frenzy of fall.




What keeps you busy in the fall? Or is there another season that is your family's busiest?

Sunday Walk (Jordan River Parkway, Lehi, UT)

This one is giving me fits lately. Who knew that 3 years old would bring on the diva in her? This is so different from parenting little boys. One moment, she is sweetness itself, the next . . . and yet, even now when I look at this picture, my heart melts to butter and I want to run in and wake her up to hug her.


This one cracks me up all the time. He really is so funny. And sometimes it is so hard to be him: the third boy, the middle child, half the time grouped with the older kids, others he is stuck with the "babies". I really want and need to show him the attention he deserves and craves. Working on that.


This one is gobbling down books and building new creations with Legos and growing so tall this summer that I have to do a double-take sometimes at my little boy. Today he took every chance he got to tell me all about Robinson Crusoe. I love when he has a light in his eyes and excitement in his voice.


This one is careening toward his teenage years. He is so bright, so quick, and is so devastated when things do not go according to plan. I wonder how that will be coupled with the angst of being 13 or 15 years old. Why, oh, why, do they have to grow up?

This shot of him walking alone, ahead of the rest of us, reminds me that this experience of having all my ducks under our roof is temporary. Too soon, he'll break free, and the others will follow. And it makes me sad and grateful at the same time. Grateful that we've been given the gift of homeschooling and more time together as a family. It will all be over too soon, and they'll just come home to visit and have lives that don't revolve around our little home. And I know that I will miss them dreadfully then.


This one is the icing on our cake. She is perfect. And although I know she'll outgrow her perfection, I adore her just the same. We all do. Our kids may not always love having a preschooler in the house (who messes with their stuff or teases them incessantly,) but they always want a baby.


This one is one of the greatest blessings in my life. He is so constant, so loyal, so determined to do right. I am so grateful for a righteous, hardworking husband who loves me and our family. Men like him don't come along every day.


I am so blessed.

Post edit: By the way, I apologize if you see an ad with a burly man threatening your at risk teens below. I am working on getting Google AdSense to remove it. If they can't do that, I'll just pull advertising with them. It does not reflect the tone of my blog and is upsetting to me.

Strengthening Our Family

Our family has adopted a family theme, taken from The Family: A Proclamation to the World. We say it before our family prayer each morning and night, to remind us of our goals in building a stronger, happier family.

Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.

Strengthening our marriage and family is a constant desire of Jared's and mine. We know that it will bring greater joy into our lives than acquiring beautiful or luxurious things, than gaining the praise and acclaim of the world, and than visiting resorts or other such fabulous and expensive vacations. There is nothing inherently wrong with any of these pursuits, but we know that if we choose to focus our energy and resources on having those things, we will be turning our focus away from the things that bring real joy.


We also believe that family relationships can endure into the eternities; thus, the investment we make in our family will not only bless us in this life, but also in the next.

The motivating factor for our recent road trip was a family reunion for my MIL's side of the family. We gathered together for a variety of "wholesome recreational activities" over the course of a few days, including a breakfast in the park, a trip to Temple Square, the baptism of my niece, dinner out, the children's gardens at Thanksgiving Point, and a few World Cup matches on TV.

Jared (only half-jokingly) corrects me whenever I refer to such trips as "vacations," that visiting family is never a vacation. Vacation is supposed to be relaxing, he tells me. Or at least seeing an exciting new place. Okay, a family reunion may not qualify under that definition. There is lot of work involved in gathering with so many people. There is patience required when you gather multiple family units together, when your kids (and everyone else's) are out of routine and sleep deprived, and when you try to get a big group to show up on time for anything-- even food. But the rewards are great. Some of my favorite moments of the reunion:

• Watching all the cousins singing together at Emma's baptism.
  
• Hearing Jared's younger cousins talking Star Wars with my boys-- which triggered Kimball announcing, "Teenage second-cousins are COOL!"
  
• Shooting off fireworks on July 3rd with all the kids chanting and cheering together, interspersed with singing patriotic hymns.
• Visiting the children's exhibit at the Church History Museum. The children had a great time exploring while many of the adults caught up after being apart for years.
• Having my children be so sad when it was all over. This may seem like a strange favorite, but I am delighted that they love their extended family so much. That was the point of it all, wasn't it?

Some day we'd love to go on a family reunion cruise or spend our vacation exploring the ruins of ancient Rome, but I am pleased that our family can gather with cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents to make memories and forge relationships that will last forever.

What are some things that you do in your family to make it stronger and happier? And what are some wholesome recreational activities that your family enjoys together?