Nora's Birth Story

Introducing . . . Nora Allison. This sweet bundle joined our family on October 4th. She couldn't possibly be more adored by her brothers, sisters, and parents. 

    As her mother, I particularly feel that Nora is a blessing from heaven. You see, we were feeling pretty content (and at times, overwhelmed) with our family of seven. Five kids kept us busy as can be, and with three boys and two girls, I thought we really had the perfect family. Then, one day just over a year ago, when I was praying about something completely unrelated, I was suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling that there was one more baby waiting to join our family.

    Although I immediately knew that we would do what Heavenly Father wanted, I will admit that I spent a few weeks asking Him if He was sure, if I had heard correctly, if there wasn't some mistake. I felt inadequate. I was scared. I wondered how we could make room in our lives for a baby. But there was no mistake. Time after time when I asked, I felt a warmth and a peace that only comes from the Lord. I knew we needed to take a leap of faith and have another baby. I knew that we would be blessed by this child and would always be grateful that we had listened to the promptings of the Holy Ghost to expand our family. But I still didn't know HOW it was going to work.

    Throughout my pregnancy, I will admit that I mostly tried to not think of what life would be like when she was born. Not because I didn't want her, but because I still wasn't sure about the how. But I knew that it would be okay.

    Towards the end, I needed lots of help. My blood pressure started rising and my doctor told me to cut back my activities. Each week when I saw him, he told me to cut back some more. Thankfully, unlike two previous pregnancies when high blood pressure had been an issue, this time the baby seemed unaffected by it. Friends and family reached out to me and insisted they help. At first it was hard to accept, but I knew I needed to do what was best for the baby and my own health, and had to humble myself.

    Then, three weeks and two days before she was due, I had a miserable night. My blood pressure had been harder to control, even with rest, for the past three days, and on this night, I could barely sleep because I kept having contractions. I knew I needed to get checked out at the hospital-- they aren't really keen on having a woman with 5 previous C-sections labor because of the risk of uterine rupture-- but I had also been through this kind of thing before. I knew that I would get to the hospital and my contractions would stop, my blood pressure would drop, and after several hours they would send me home. So I waited for morning. After I dropped my kids off at school and preschool, I headed in to get checked out. Things felt different and I fully expected to deliver our baby sooner than her scheduled delivery date which was still over two weeks away.

    Sure enough, my contractions stopped cold as soon as they began monitoring me and my blood pressure dropped after about half an hour of resting. The nurses assured me that I'd be going home soon, but that my doctor had ordered some labs just to be sure. I am sure they get plenty of women coming in with a few weeks to go in their pregnancy, desperate to find a reason to deliver early and have pregnancy over with, but  I am not one of those women. I knew that Nora was going to make her entrance sooner rather than later.

    The labs came back with results that landed me an overnight in the hospital while they ran more tests. It seemed that my kidneys were struggling and that the PIH was affecting me, even though the baby appeared to be fine. They gave me one of those nifty steroid shots that help the baby's lungs just in case, and I spent the next several hours figuring out the logistics of my family's needs with mommy in the hospital. Even though they were saying I would be in for 24 hours, I went ahead and made arrangements for help with kids, meals, etc, through the end of the week, feeling like it would be easy to cancel if needed. (Wouldn't you know it, my mom was out of town, visiting my brother and his wife and newest baby.) Thankfully, I had many people offer to help and had it all figured out by dinner time.

    The next day, after more labs, my amazing Dr. S. and I agreed that we were not going to wait for Nora's scheduled c-section, still two weeks away. We decided to wait one more day to give the steroids the best effect, and scheduled the c-section for 5pm the following day.

     The next evening we welcomed our sweet baby into the world. It took the doctors quite a while to work through all my scar tissue after so many surgeries; we were all bantering about needing a saw and talking in a relaxed way. When they got to my uterus, I heard the tone of my doctor's voice change. 

"Have you been having contractions, Michal?" 

"I had them the day and night before I checked into the hospital, but they have mostly gone away since I've been in bed here," I replied.

"I think we are delivering this baby on the right day," he said, sounding somewhat solemn.

    Apparently, my uterus was so thin that he proceeded to open it with his finger, not even needing a tool. When he did so, it sort of fell apart. My friend, Kristen, who was there and who is a L&D nurse, said after one look at it, she was sure that I would need a hysterectomy on the spot, because they would never get that fragile, spent organ sewn together again. Miraculously, they were able to stitch up the silvery tissue just as it needed to be. We all felt that it was God's hand that prevented my uterus from rupturing earlier, during my contractions (which would have been extremely serious and life threatening to both Nora and me), and that allowed me to avoid hemorrhaging or a hysterectomy.

    I am so grateful for this sweet little girl in my life. I am grateful for the Lord's tender mercies in sparing her life and mine, as well as for the many, many people He has prompted to bless us with help over the past months. 

    

    Our life is crazy with six kids, to be sure, but blessed and wonderful. I love being a mother, even though it pushes me to my very limits sometimes; even though I make mistakes and have to apologize to my children; even though it wreaks havoc on my sleep, my body, and my patience. It is the best choice that I have ever made and I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to be a mother to these six wonderful kids. 

Thursday Thanks

My dear SIL, Tamara, author of the 31 Dates in 31 Days blog (and soon-to-be-book), suggested last Thursday that we take time each Thursday this month to count our blessings and to feel grateful. This completely tied in with some counsel we recently received from Thomas S. Monson, counsel which hit home when he said it. Here is a little of what he said,

"We can lift ourselves and others as well when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude. If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues. Someone has said that “gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.”

I also came across a little saying this summer that gave me pause, as being content instead of wanting stuff is a struggle of mine: "The secret to having it all is believing that you do!"


Anyway, I decided to take it a step beyond commenting on Tam's blog. I need to cultivate within my heart (and the hearts of my children) and attitude of gratitude. Additionally, I need to get back on the wagon with blogging. I miss it. I miss hearing your comments. I miss feeling like we are in this whole crazy thing together. So I am going to try to post every Thursday indefinitely about something for which I am grateful. Sometime it may just be a quick list, sometimes something more thoughtful. But I'm hoping it will help me to see how truly blessed I am and prompt others to count their blessings as well.


So, this Thursday Thanks post is going to be about how grateful I am that I feel supported and helped so much in raising my family. My mom, Jared's parents, and many friends help us all the time in making this work. I honestly don't know if I could have had five children without so much support from these people. I am thankful for the people who are a good example in my kids' lives; for Cub Scout leaders, teachers at church, piano teachers, coaches, neighbors, and friends who go out of their way to know my children and to help mold them into people of virtue, of integrity, of kindness.


Today during Kimball and Henry's rock climbing class, I took my younger kids to a nearby sanctuary zoo and invited a friend to come along and bring her granddaughter. We had a great time, but over the course of the outing a couple of my children had some not-so-nice moments that included whining, pouting, fighting with each other, and even hitting. The drive home was excruciating because they were over-stimulated, over-tired, and touching each other (heaven forbid). I was so thankful to have Nancy there with me-- not judging at all, but rather commiserating and giggling a little with me over their ridiculous behavior. As frustrated as I was with the kids, because of the way that she acted I wasn't mortified, nor was I afraid that she thought they were monsters. It's the little things that count in friendship and that help us moms feel supported instead of torn down. Thanks, Nancy!

To my mom and in-laws who are always so willing to help watch kids or take them on a fun outing, I am so grateful. I really believe that home schooling is the best choice for us and a blessing, but sometimes we need a little space from one another for an hour or two and our parents help facilitate that for the good of both the kids and me.


I'm thankful for Kimball's Primary (Sunday School) teacher, who never acts like she is irritated with him, nor grumpy that he is her responsibility, even when he is sliding out of this chair or making silly noises during a quiet moment. She does her best to understand his challenges, handles them matter-of-factly, and loves him for his strengths. She is as gem.

There are so many others who help and support me as a mom in raising these five wonderful, spirited, unique little people, and I am grateful for each and every one.

What are you grateful for today?

My Happy List

During our morning gospel study, Kimball and Henry and I each made a list in our journals entitled: Things That Make Me Happy. We then read 2 Nephi 11:4-7 to see what was on Nephi's "happy list".

Henry said as we opened the scriptures, "Let's see if we can get some inspiration from Nephi. Maybe I need to add his list to my list." I thought it was adorable and was, of course, precisely the point of the whole exercise!

Anyhow, I thought I'd share my happy list with you. This is what makes me happy today, although I reserve the right to add to it at any time!

• children giggling
• chubby baby legs
• cuddling
• strawberries
• late night talks with Jared about our plans, hopes, dreams, future
• going to the temple
• having uninterrupted time to pray
• Mack Wilberg arrangements of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir
• visiting out-of-town family/cousins
• springtime
• having my mom, sister, and in-law parents live locally
• succeeding in keeping my temper with my kids
• "I love you" and "thank you"
• a good book and time to read it
• hearing my kids bear their testimony
• a weekend away with my husband
• the way my toes look after a pedicure
• when my kids are getting along and enjoying each other
• General Conference
• Jared's breakfasts (even better when I get to sleep in and wake up just in time to eat)
• my covenants
• The Plan of Salvation

What's on your happy list?

Lessons and Gratitude

We had an experience this weekend that reminded me to really savor this time I have with my children and to show them more love and tenderness. I was also reminded how constantly vigilant I need to be about their safety. Our sweet little Bronwen came very close to drowning and I can't stop thinking about how different everything might be if Henry hadn't seen her when he did. I am so indescribably grateful to Heavenly Father for sparing her life. I know that others have had to endure different outcomes and we don't always know why some are spared and some are taken, but I cannot deny that she was spared because of His tender mercies.

We have all been squeezing her a bit tighter in the past 24 hours, shuddering when we allow ourselves to contemplate what might have been or reliving those harrowing moments when we weren't sure what the outcome would be. I have never had a more awful feeling in my life, and I have had some terribly painful moments before this.

I wasn't sure if I was going to share this or not, partly because it is so horrible that I don't really want to talk about it, but I decided to because I wanted to share what I'm taking away from it with you. Please, please, please don't take your children for granted and this time you have with them. My kids have been pretty challenging in the past two weeks since I had Margaret-- and even though I knew it was because they lacked a routine or anything like normalcy, I have had a hard time being patient with them. I know that it's natural for kids to get under your skin, but I am just so grateful to have them that I found myself today having a greater capacity to be calm and to show tenderness inspite of my fatigue.

We have also been too casual about our kids in the pool. The boys are strong swimmers and Bronwen is a pro in her waterwings, paddling all over the pool. If we are near the pool and they are in, I don't have my eyes on them all the time. But this time, Bronwen got out, took off her waterwings, and then wandered back over and went into the pool because she saw a ladybug. No one noticed her take them off. No one saw her get back in. No one saw or heard her go under. You can bet that I will be sitting at the edge of the pool (if not in it) from now on with my eyes on any non-swimmers more vigilantly than I have in the past. The risks are too great. So please be very very very careful.

My little Meg is crying now for her late-night supper and I'm off to fatten her up. Go kiss your kids and say a prayer of gratitude for them. I know I will.

Faith, not Doubt

I've been thinking a lot lately about what polar opposites faith and doubt are. I suppose it started with my spiritual wrestling with God over homeschooling our brood. I had previously let fear keep me from doing anything more than talking about researching possibly doing home school! In my mind, I was actually researching, but deep down I was hoping that the Lord would point me in a different direction and that my research would be akin to Abraham being willing to sacrifice Isaac--at the last minute, the angel would sweep in and send my kids back to school. To my amazement, the more I looked into home school, the more potential that I could see for it to truly bless my family; and yet, I was still afraid.
Anyhow, last week when I felt an undeniable impression that homeschooling our children NOW, not some non-committal day in the future, was the right thing to do, I couldn't shake the fear. I have been heard to say all the same things that so many people have said to me in the past week: "I just don't think I could do homeschool;" followed by one of the following sentences:

• "I'm not organized enough."
• "My kids and I really need a break from each other."
• "I don't have the patience for it."
• "I really need that time while they are in school."

Guess what? Those things were all still true about me. The only thing that had really changed was that deep down in my heart, I knew that it was the best thing for my kids. (I'm not trying to preach that it's the best for everyone, but I knew that it was the best for mine.) So, I asked the Lord to take away my fear. And I immediately remembered the principle that fear and faith cannot coexist. I determined to focus on my faith in God. I have to trust Him. If He, in His infinite wisdom, knows homeschooling to be the path for my family to take, what do I have to be afraid of? Certainly it will require change, work, more patience than I currently have, and a healthy dose of prayer, but why should I fear those things?
Then yesterday morning as I was studying the scriptures, a strip of paper fell out of them. It was a quote from a lesson I had in Relief Society ages ago. It said,
"Remember, faith and doubt cannot exist in the mind at the same time, for one will dispel the other. Cast out doubt. Cultivate faith. Strive always to retain that childlike faith which can move mountains and bring heaven closer to heart and home." --Thomas S. Monson
Not only did this quote fit in with the theme of my musings of late, but I was struck with the last phrase: that faith can bring heaven closer to heart and home. Isn't that our goal as mothers (and fathers)? What better reason to cast out doubt and cultivate faith?
I love the term cultivate there, it reminds me of gardening (which is not one of my strengths, although I would love to change that.) Faith doesn't just happen. It's not that you either have it or you don't. You have to work at it, feeding it, watering it, weeding out the doubts and the other weeds that would attack your faith. It goes along with Alma's analogy in the Book of Mormon of faith being like a seed that will grow if nurtured properly.
I have felt so strengthened in the past week, since I made the commitment to follow the spiritual promptings I have been given to homeschool our children. I can feel my faith grow as I cast away doubt. And that faith is strengthening me and telling me that I, in my imperfect state, and take on this enormous challenge.
I am filled with gratitude and with the knowledge that Heavenly Father knows me, my family, our needs, my flaws, and that He is willing to work with me to help me overcome the obstacles to become the woman that He wants me to be.

Being Grateful

The lesson yesterday in Relief Society was just for me. I have been struggling lately to help my boys speak respectfully to me and to others and feel like I have been harping on it with no results. Kimball especially falls into a very negative funk when something goes wrong--it doesn't have to be big. We keep telling him that even though we don't always choose what happens to us, we get to determine how we act and feel about it. Again, this lesson doesn't seem to be getting through. Along with these issues we are having with our kids, Jared and I have been talking a lot lately about the law of attraction and about being positive to attract positive things. (For example, instead of focusing on losing weight, I'm trying to focus on being healthy. Instead of "paying off our debt" we talk about achieving financial freedom.) And as I've mentioned before, I am striving to appreciate the small moments and enjoy this phase of my motherhood instead of looking forward to what is next or getting bogged down in my to-do list.
For all these reasons, our lesson yesterday on Gratitude really hit me. She referenced a talk given by Bonnie Parkin in April General Conference that was so wonderful. And I realized that focusing on being grateful can help with all of these struggles. Being grateful forces us to see the positive and chases away the negative. Being grateful also fosters a feeling of respect for those to whom we are grateful. It was like the heavens opened up and it all clicked for me.
So, after dinner tonight at our weekly Family Home Evening we are going to talk about gratitude. I am going to bring out a "blessing basket" (that may look suspiciously like one of our Easter Baskets--I'm not that creative!) and we will all think of things that we can put in it. Then, I want to keep a list each day as a family of things we are grateful for. I bought these great Crayola window markers a few weeks ago at Target and have been using them to write our daily schedule on one of the sliding doors in our family room. When you have a child with Asperger's Syndrome, schedules and routine are HUGE. Anyway, my kids have loved referencing the schedule on the sliding door. My plan is to keep the "Things We Are Grateful For" list on the opposite slider so that it's right there near us. Not only will that help us to focus on the good in our lives, but it should help my kids who sometimes have a hard time thinking of things to be grateful for in their prayers besides the usual (my family, Jesus, my books and toys . . . )
Here's my personal list for the day:
A clean house
Air conditioning
Quality medical care
Mangoes, Strawberries, Raspberries
A washer and dryer
Judy (who taught the above mentioned lesson and is one of my heroes)
My in-laws who are watching my kids during my doctor's appt.
A husband who always kisses me and says "I love you" before he leaves
Two children who nap and two who can self-entertain while Mommy blogs!

Now go make your own list!