Mars and Venus

I have a wonderful husband. We are alike in many ways: both strong-willed and stubborn, both determined, both on the strict side when it comes to dealing with our kids, poor things. We have a similar sense of humor (if you aren't considering boy/potty humor), we are passionate about our faith, and we like good food. We love Russia, the Book of Mormon, California Craftsman architecture, and our kids. But like all couples, we also have our differences, some more compatible than others. He likes ESPN, I like HGTV; he likes peace & quiet, I like the house teeming with family and friends; he craves continuity, I crave variety. And there is one difference that I doubt we'll ever agree upon: birthdays.

You see, I love birthdays. There is just something wonderful about having a day all your own (although, now I share mine with Margaret,) on which people you love make an effort to make you feel special. I love getting phone calls, cards, and Facebook messages on my birthday. I love going out to dinner with my husband, having a big family dinner with my kids, and going to lunch with girlfriends. I love birthday cake and presents. I love feeling loved-- after all, don't we all love that? And I love doing the same for my loved ones on their birthdays.

But Jared, you see, CLAIMS that he doesn't care a fig about birthdays. Now don't get me wrong-- as any good husband should, he knows how important birthdays are to me and does all he can to make mine special. But when it comes to his birthday, he always says we should just ignore it. And I am left in a conundrum. Does he really want me to ignore it? Is that what would show him love in equal measure to spoiling me on my birthday? Somehow, it seems like a betrayal to not celebrate the day that he came into the world. Doesn't he need a big, chocolatey cake, at least one present that isn't new socks, and the family gathered around to sing? Doesn't he want a birthday card from me full of all the reasons I'm glad he's mine?

Sometimes I resolve to respect his wishes and treat the day like any other. But I never can go through with it. Instead, I plot to find the perfect gift for him that he hasn't asked for. He says he doesn't want anything, but I'm sure that if I find the right thing, he'll be so overcome with joy and emotion that I'll know I've finally done it. And it never has worked yet. And I am left wondering if he spends his birthday humoring me by letting us celebrate it when he just wants to watch sports and be left alone for an hour or two.

So, what shall I do? His big day (in my eyes, only) is coming up on Thursday and I still am not sure how to handle it this year. I have plead for some direction-- a family outing, a dinner date, an afternoon doing whatever he never does because he gives all his time to his family or business, but to no avail. He won't even tell me what he wants for dinner! How would you handle such a stinker? If you really loved him and wanted him to be sure of that? And in what way are you and your spouse polar 0pposites? Leave me a comment, pretty please!

Margaret's Southern California Trip

Do you notice the recurring theme? Meg spent most of our So Cal trip on in the backpack. She didn't seem to mind.

If you want to read tidbits about The Wedding, you can go here, here, and here. I'm afraid I haven't had time to do it justice.

Musings and Ramblings

I was a little uncomfortable with all the "atta girl" comments in the past few days regarding my work on Prop 8. And after re-reading my last post, I fear that it may have sounded like I was asking for them. I just want to take a moment to say that this effort passed because of the sacrifice and work of over 100,000 people like me-- and many of them did much more than I did. I was a little drop in a big bucket, but felt compelled to share some of the ins and outs of how our grassroots effort brought about success.

It has been exciting to be a part of something so much bigger than myself, yet something that I care so deeply about. And though I object to the claims that the LDS Church was overstepping its bounds by calling its members to get involved and to "give [their] best efforts" to helping Proposition 8 pass, I will admit that I don't think it would have passed without the involvement of so many members of the Church. We have the spirit of volunteerism and consecration, but also the organization already in place to participate effectively in a grassroots effort.

And yet, this was not passed by Mormons alone. We are responsible for a very small percentage of the population here, and were a part of a larger coalition of other churches. It was a privilege to work alongside other people of faith, who saw the long reaching impact on our society and children of preserving traditional marriage.

With that being said, some reports I read (and the tasteless commercial that aired on the day of the election) accused the "Mormons" of trying to force our beliefs on others in regards to same sex marriage. Um, the last time I checked, Californians were free to choose and vote as they see fit. Those who rallied around Prop 8 were striving to educate, but we were instructed to never argue or to become heated in any way when talking to our fellow citizens about this issue. I fail to see how our involvement in speaking out to defend what we believe in is any different from the people of the gay and lesbian community speaking out about what they believe to be their right. We have the same freedom of speech and freedom of religion that they enjoy.

I know that some call us old fashioned for our beliefs. Chastity is not in vogue. Modesty? An archaic ideal, rejected even for our young daughters and not just for adults. Integrity also seems to be fading fast as a sought after quality, as cheating is on the rise from elementary schools to universities to Wall Street. But I am thrilled that the majority of Californians (arguably one of the most "progressive" states in the Union) still believe in marriage between a man and a woman. Those marriages may not always be perfect. Too many end in divorce. But it is the fundamental building block unit of our society (not the individual--the family) and we need to be striving towards the ideal that every child deserves a mother and a father who are married to each other and completely loyal to one another. Children thrive in that environment. They develop healthy attitudes about relationships, sexuality, and their own self esteem. They desire to have a marriage and family of their own someday. And thus, society prospers and continues on.

And that's the bottom line.

We did it!

Yesterday was the pinnacle of two and half months of work, sacrifice, and blogging about a political issue!:) Election Day.

I volunteered to be a poll watcher at one of our local precincts. I rose at 5:00 and got ready for the day, praying that the downpours of Monday would be over. I piled my bleary eyed kids into the van, picked up a box of donuts, and was at my assigned polling place by 6:30. My instructions were to set up a YES on 8 table near by polling place, (but of course within legal limits, which are 100 feet from the polls.) I chose a spot farther away because I didn't want anyone to feel intimidated or irritated by my presence, but wanted to be available if people needed clarification on the proposition. (Although you'd have to live in a cave in California if you didn't know that Prop 8 was about marriage, the wording on the ballot was very confusing thanks to our Secretary of State, and we wanted people to go in remembering that a "yes" vote was for traditional marriage.) My kids sat in the car, snarfing donuts and watching a movie until my friend Nancy came to pick them up.

By 9:00 we had decided that there were better uses of our time (as I had people there to help me once it wasn't dawn) and so I continued to check the polls hourly while our other volunteers canvassed the precinct, visiting the homes of people who had pledged to vote Yes and reminding them that it was election day. Those who weren't home got a door hanger with their polling place printed on it. By 4:00, I'm pretty sure that every potential YES voter in all seven precincts that our team was watching had had their door knocked.

At 4:00, we moved to our call center and had a new flood of volunteers in addition to the poll watchers like me who had been going all day. We set up in Jared's office, which is closed on Tuesday afternoons. There were people all over the place, using their cell phones. Our goal was to call every voter until they had voted (with our lists including likely YES and definitely YES voters.) We had some food donated by some good people who wanted to help, and at least 20 people calling through our lists. As people told us they had already voted, we crossed them off the list. When an entire page was crossed off, we did a little dance and shredded it. By 7:30, every page was shredded (at 7:15 we started leaving messages for those who were not picking up the phone, which was about 10% of our list). By 8:00 we were locking up the office and heading home.

Pushing through exhaustion, a few of us decided to go to the Protect Marriage victory party that was being held in Sacramento. I was really hoping for shrimp, but was disappointed! However, we got a chance to cheer and mingle with other supporters while the initial results came in. When it was clear that we were well ahead but that there was a long way to go before all the votes were counted, we left, trying hard to stay awake for the drive home. (Here's a picture with Christine. You might ask why I would post a picture of myself looking tired and harried next to my gorgeous friend. I just didn't remember to pull out my camera earlier in the day, so these are the only pictures I can come up with. At least one of us looks great!)

This morning our local news stations seem hesitant still to call it a victory. With 98% of precincts reporting and with 53% voting YES and 47% voting no, they are saying it is still "too close to call." Hogwash. They called the presidency much earlier than that! Here's something that I found from abcnews.com that almost infers that the proposition may have passed.

This post is not about gloating and being a poor sport, Mom. It is breathing a sigh of relief that the work of so many people for a cause that we deeply believed in has paid off. I am sorry that a victory brings pain to others. I want so much for them to understand that we hold no ill will towards them personally, but that we disagree strongly about the appropriate guidelines for and definition of marriage. Perhaps because our perspectives are so different, that has been nearly impossible for those voting NO to understand.

I do hope that we will be able to live together peaceably after this. Much like presidential elections, (which sometimes your candidates lose and sometimes they win,) when the election is over it is time to put away divisiveness and remember that we are all Americans. We are so blessed to live in a place where democracy rules, even though it doesn't always go the way we had hoped. I pray that it will be so.

Past, Present, Future

My ancestors came long ago to America seeking religious freedom. Some, like Isaac Wheeler, came as early as the 1600s from England to Massachusetts. They were Protestants who wanted to be free of the Church of England and the persecution that was heaped upon them. Others came in the mid-1800s from England, Norway, and Denmark after joining the LDS (Mormon) Church there.

America offered a land free of religious persecution (although the Mormons had to go all the way to the wilderness of Utah to find that); a land where its citizens were guaranteed the Freedom of Religion; the freedom from a government mandated, political church. And although the early European settlers of the colonies and later United States had various reasons for coming there, a great many of them were seeking that same freedom.

I often think about those ancestors of mine and about the blessings that I have in my life because of the sacrifices that they made. They wanted a better life for themselves and for their posterity. They helped to build this great nation, which became of beacon of freedom to the world.

I also think about my own children and posterity. Will they look back at the choices that I made and thank me for them? Will their world be one in which religious freedom is tolerated? Will they enjoy the same comfort and safety that I do as I worship God as I see fit and teach my children to do likewise?

I strongly believe that Proposition 8 in California (and similar ballot initiatives in other states) on traditional marriage will have an impact for ill or good on whether or not my children enjoy the same freedoms that I do--the liberties that my ancestors sought when they left their homes, families, and native lands behind to go to a strange, unknown land.

I know that I have already posted a few times about Prop 8, but I feel that I need to do everything I can to speak out about this issue. Redefining traditional marriage as being between PartyA and Party B (or between two brides or two grooms) is legislating that there is no difference between a homosexual "civil union" and a heterosexual marriage. If that is the case, churches will surely be sued for preaching that homosexuality is against God's will. They will be prosecuted for refusing to perform gay marriages. They will be forced to place adoptive children in homosexual homes. They will not be allowed to live (and perhaps even teach) according to their religious beliefs.

Those who oppose Prop 8 say that these are scare tactics, that this issue has nothing to do with religion. That is simply not true. Already a doctor has been sued (and ruled against) for refusing to artificially inseminate a lesbian woman, even though he referred her to another doctor who would do it. He refused on the grounds that he was morally opposed to gay couples parenting children. And the court ruled that he does not have the right to be opposed to that. It doesn't matter that the woman could receive the service she sought from another doctor. His rights to believe in traditional marriage and families was trumped by her right to be inseminated by any fertility doctor she chose.

This is just one example of how aggressively the gay community is pursuing what they label civil rights. (If you would like to hear how a number of African American community members feel about having gay rights compared to civil rights, watch this video.)

Some will cry out that you can't legislate morality, that it violates the separation of church and state to do so. I strongly disagree. Our founding fathers most definitely legislated morality, and we continue to do so today. Murder, fraud, embezzling, perjury, those are all examples of legislated morality. If we are going to live in a society where anything goes, where we are not even allowed to say that we believe another's choices and lifestyle to be wrong, that is not the separation of church and state. It is abandoning God completely, and turning our back on the fact that truth might exist. It is, as in Judges 17:6, "In those days there was no king in Israel, but every man did that which was right in his own eyes."

The separation of church and state was never meant to eliminate God, but to eliminate an official church who was so interwoven with the government that corruption was inevitable. It was meant to allow people to worship according to the dictates of their conscience.

Proposition 8 does not take away the rights of gays to live openly as gays. It does not take away their domestic partnership rights. It does not take away any rights. It only seeks to define marriage the way that it has been defined since Adam and Eve.

You may be tired of hearing about this. I am tired of hearing about it. But I believe that the choice that we make this fall will have a fundamental difference on the future America that we give to our posterity. So I don't care which candidate you vote for for president. I don't care which congressman or woman you plan to elect this year. But if you are undecided about how you will vote on traditional marriage, please consider my words. Please think about the long term implications of this law. Please don't just shrug your shoulders and say, "to each his own. It won't hurt me." It will impact every member of this society in not very many years.

And if you have already decided to vote Yes on 8, keep talking about it. Do all you can to educate your friends, neighbors, and associates. This is our children's future. We need to handle with care.

Painting by Gordon Grant; photo of sculpture taken by me at Conference Center in Salt Lake City, UT.

Prop 8 Ad Backlash

Updated Tuesday, October 7th

Recently, protectmarriage.com launched its first television ad. The commercial features Richard Peterson, a professor of law at Pepperdine Univeristy, talking about the legal ramifications of defeating Proposition 8. Those who oppose Prop 8 insist that this is all hogwash and has nothing to do with gay marriage. I respectfully disagree with them.

The "gay rights" community is seeking in every arena to validate their lifestyle choice and seek to put down anyone who believes that living a homosexual lifestyle is against God's will and society's best interest. (Incidentally, my family (and church) believes in chastity before marriage and complete fidelity within marriage, and teach our children accordingly.) You can bet that once validated and legalized, this community will turn to suing the churches that refuse to perform gay marriages. They will seek to silence those who speak out in defense of traditional families and marriage. They call evil "good" and good, "evil". (Isaiah 5:20)

Interestingly enough, those who cry out for "equal rights" and freedom of speech are also crying for Richard Peterson to be fired by Pepperdine for expressing his own opinion. The ad never says or even implies that Pepperdine University supports Prop 8, only that a professor there does. Richard Peterson asked the university's permission before he appeared in the ad, voicing his own concerns about the ramifications of legalizing gay marriage.

It seems that those who preach tolerance do not know what the word means at all. They are not tolerant of families speaking up in defense of marriage. They portray us as bigots and call for discrimination against us (as in calling on Pepperdine to fire Richard Peterson for his appearance in the commercial.)

Proposition 8 does not seek to criminalize homosexuality. It does not take away the rights of gays to enter into domestic partnerships or civil unions. It does not even mention homosexuality. Proposition 8 has only these words: Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid and recognized in California.

And yet, the homosexual community would take this away from us and make it their own.

The term "silent majority" has come about because those in the minority have learned to raise their voices in protest against things they do not like. Let us take note, but without name calling and smearing.

Please write to Pepperdine and voice your support for freedom of speech, for freedom of religion, and for the right of all of us to speak out in defense of traditional marriage. Here are a few email addresses to get you started:


Edited 10/7

Thanks to everyone who emailed Pepperdine. Thanks to your efforts and countless others, Pepperdine has heard our voice and Richard Peterson's position is safe. They have asked for us to stop emailing them so that they can get back to work.

And vote Yes on Prop 8!

Soccer Mom

Today is our 11th wedding anniversary. And it has been a crazy enough day that neither of us even remembered that fact until Jared's mom wished us "happy anniversary" an hour ago. Today was also opening day for soccer and 104 degrees. Yes, Faranheit. And since we have two kids in soccer, who have games across town from each other, we were doing the soccer thing from 9:15 until 2:00 today, not counting the time spent putting on shin guards and finding jerseys and cleats that had mysteriously disappeared since yesterday.

I went to the store this morning about 5 minutes after I rolled out of bed to get snacks for us to have while we were hanging out at the soccer field--rice cakes, bagels, grapes, apples. I filled up more bottles that I even counted with ice water--next week, we'll take a big cooler full, because it still wasn't enough.

The boys did well, especially given the heat. Kimball experienced his first soccer headbutt in the middle of one of those mobs you get in rec league soccer games; you know the kind where all the kids on the team are trying to kick the ball at once and mostly just kicking each other. He was dazed for a couple of minutes and shed a few tears but then jogged back out onto the field. Henry's team played some awesome defense and he had one moment when he got a little carried away and stopped the ball with his hands. Oops. Both boys were enthusiastic, red faced, and thirsty after their games, feeling good about what they'd accomplished. So that made the morning a success.

When the games were finally over, we headed over to Jared's parents for a quick dip in the pool--we couldn't wait to dive in and cool off. When everyone was in their suit except for me, Jared took them out back and I went to get changed. One minute later they were back in the house, with not a little weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth. The pool had missed us since we hadn't been over to swim since Monday, and had decided to fill up with algae to fill the void. Bummer.

We pulled in at 2:30 exhausted, hot, thirsty, and ready for some downtime. For the moment all the kids are resting in their rooms and their dad is resting in front of a college football game. Later we are headed to some friends' for swimming and grilled pizzas. This might not be how I pictured spending our anniversary 11 years ago when I married him . . . but I am so grateful for this life we've made together. I'm grateful to have a family. I'm grateful to have the luxury of spending day like this together, even when we get tired and cranky with each other. And I don't think that 11 years ago I could have even fathomed the way I feel about my husband and this family that the Lord has given us. Isn't it amazing the way love grows and deepens and changes as time goes on? As we choose to focus on our relationship and put energy and time into it particularly? What a great reward for the sacrifices required.

And I'm so very, very grateful that next weekend the grandparents are taking over and we are going to have some alone time to focus on each other and enjoying being together without our progeny. Thanks, Mom and Dad! We owe you guys big time.

The Love of My Life

Yesterday was Jared's birthday. I had planned to post this meme all about him and us, but between piano lessons, a funeral luncheon that I was in charge of, karate, car pool, and other mommy craziness, I didn't even look at blogs. He also got an MP3 player for his birthday, so when he was home, he was monopolizing the computer--and how could I say, "Would you stop doing what you want to do on your birthday so that I can pay homage to you on my blog that you don't read (very often)?" I couldn't. So I'm a day late. And since he won't read this for two weeks, that probably doesn't matter much.

• How long have you been married? 10 1/2 years. Wow. Time flies.
  
• How long did you date? We knew each other for over two years before we started dating. Once we admitted that we wanted to be more than friends, we only dated for about four months before we got engaged. We were engaged for four months, then married.
  
• How old is he? 33. And he'll be quick to tell you that he is younger than I.:)
• Who eats more sweets? I have a much bigger sweet tooth than he does. If he ever eats more sweets than I, it is usually because he is trying to "save me from them." But there is no contest who craves sweets more.
• Who is taller? He is. Even when I wear my favorite 4 inch heels.
  
• Who is smarter? He will tell you that I am, but I say that we are just a different kind of smart. He has such a clear understanding of scientific principles, the human body, and other things that are mostly gibberish to me. He has a gift for teaching complex ideas in a way that is understandable to others. It is something that makes him a good doctor--he can help his patients truly understand what is going on in their bodies and why chiropractic aids healing and health.
• Who does the laundry? These days, I do most of it, although he will help me fold it if I ask. When we were newlyweds, I was the breadwinner and he was the full-time student and house-husband. He did all of our laundry. At the laundromat. And he got there on his bike. I would usually pick him up on my way home from work after he'd been there for a good chunk of the afternoon, and he'd have all of our laundry folded and clean, except for half of my stuff that was not supposed to be dried in the dryer. I'm high maintenance like that, but Jared is all about taking care of our things, so he was willing to accommodate my wishes when it came to caring for my clothes. Now almost everything goes into the dryer--because it's a lot of jeans and knit shirts!:) I don't miss my office job, but I do miss the clothes sometimes. And the lunches out with the girls in the office.
• Who pays the bills? I do. Always.
• Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? If you mean as opposed to the wrong side (where all the kids come in the middle of the night,) then Jared sleeps on the right side of the bed.
  
• Who mows the lawn? Usually one of his patients that is trading services. But when there is no one else, he does it. He is pretty allergic to the grass and spends a lot of time sneezing after the fact.
• Who makes dinner? It's generally my job, but he will take over when asked. He does all the barbecuing, which means most of the food we eat in the summer. He also makes the weekend breakfasts and whips up wonderful waffles, perfect pancakes, and outrageous omelets . And he makes certain holiday foods--in the photo he is making our New Year's Eve Monte Cristos. Some years he deep fries a turkey for Thanksgiving to supplement my roasted bird. And he loves to pull out the deep fryer once or twice a year and invite future heart attacks.
• Who drives? He does. It pains him to have anyone else drive. We're both sure it's a control thing, but I've decided that I don't like driving well enough to battle it out. So he does, nearly always.
• Who is more stubborn? I'm too stubborn to admit that it's me!
• Who asked who out on the first date? That would be me. Although at the time, my intentions were not to get something started between us. Some girlfriends and I had purchased Les Miserables tickets at the beginning of the summer for the fall, when it was coming to SLC (I was in my last year at BYU.) We had each bought two tickets and planned to take dates. When the time came for me to invite someone, I was very conflicted. There was the boy that I had a mad crush on (but did I really want to betray my undying love?), the boy in my ward who was funny and well-dressed, but a big flirt (I knew that we'd have a great time but that would be the end of it,) and Jared. We had been good friends as missionaries and I remembered that he loved the music of Les Miserables and had never seen it. But I also knew that he would probably freak out a little bit (or a lot) at the prospect of going on a date with a former sister missionary. Did I really want to freak him out? I did kind of like him, but honestly didn't think we'd ever date, and I didn't know if he'd be too scared to be friends if I asked him out. Now that I look back on it, I deliberated this way too much, but it seemed like a major decision at the time. The night I decided to make my decision and ask someone, he and a friend dropped by my apartment (which was a bit out of the way, since he lived in Salt Lake) and I took it as a sign and asked him. He was definitely freaked out but he couldn't resist the prospect of seeing Les Mis. We had a good time, but he was also pretty tense through most of it. Oh well--it turned out well in the end, I guess.
• Who said "I love you" first? No clue. If I remember correctly, we both said it for the first time in our Valentine's Day cards. But that could be wrong. I should consult my journal, but then I'll get trapped reading and never get this posted.
• Who proposed? He did. But I knew it was coming. We had already picked out the ring and named the date. I guess it was a pretty mutual decision that he would propose. Isn't that how it often is? I guess some people (like this) are completely floored. But I knew it was coming and already had my answer ready.
• Who has more siblings? I do, at least officially. I have six and he has three. But his parents helped raise several foster Native American kids, so if you count all of them . . . .
  
• Who wears the pants? I think that we are equally yoked. He gives in a lot to my way but every once in a while he feels strongly about something, and we usually go with that. And he never wears skirts, just for the record!
  

Now that I finish up this meme, I realize that it's more about us as a couple than it is about him. So I want to add a couple of things that I adore about my husband.

• His sense of humor. It is dry and smart and out of the ordinary.
• His compassion. When he first opened his practice, it really bothered me that he treated so many people for little or no payment. After all, we had to eat and pay our mortgage. But he told me then that he had become a doctor in order to help people. And he has faith that if he does what he can to help those who need it, that the Lord will take care of us. I love that he feels that way now.
  
• His baritone singing voice. I love sitting next to him in church (in those moments when we are actually both sitting in the chapel, rather than out with a fussy baby who is missing her naptime.)
  
• His willingness to do things that he doesn't love because I love them. Like play games with his parents at least once a week. Or go to parties. Or go out to eat. Or scrub the shower (which he does because I hate it.) He still doesn't watch chick flicks, though. I guess I can't have everything.
• His organizational skills. He regularly organizes and declutters our house. I know that it is important to him, but it also improves the quality of my life.
  
• His love for the scriptures and his dedication to the gospel. Because I knew him first as a missionary, then as a friend, then as a boyfriend, etc. etc, I got a chance to see him before he was trying to impress me. I got to see what a hard worker he was, how obedient he was to the mission rules, what a good leader he was. This was very important to me in the man that I married. I am so grateful that we are on the same page in our willingness to serve in the kingdom of God. That is a huge blessing in my life.
  
• His perpetual optimism. People who know us might not realize that although I am more cheerful and he more grumpy, he is the optimist and I, the more negative thinker. He always sees the best case scenario. He never believes that anyone is being dishonest with him or has any ulterior motive. I am much more skeptical and paranoid. So he balances me well and keeps me from hiding in my bedroom, sucking my thumb in the fetal position.

This may be a day too late for his birthday, but he never was one who got excited about his birthday anyway (not like me. Now that his birthday is over, it's time to start planning for mine, which is only 11 weeks away!)

I love you, honey, and I'm glad that you're mine.

It's Raining, It's Pouring

So, Jared & I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary at the beginning of the month (as you already know if you read my blog.) We were determined to do something to celebrate it that involved leaving our kiddos with someone else, but as it approached we could think of lots of other things that we needed to spend our money on more than a getaway to somewhere fabulous. We have always been full tithe payers, but have lately been really asking the Lord to "open the windows of heaven and pour [us] out a blessing." (Malachi 3:10)
So, regarding this wedding anniversary, it seems that tithing blessings kicked in to make it nicer that the money we had to spend on it. First, I received a gift card in the mail (as a thank you for helping with Laura's wedding) to the Cheesecake Factory, a chain restaurant we enjoy, which we used on the night of our actual, mid-week, anniversary. We were out $18 for a babysitter, but not bad for an evening out sans children.
Then, we remembered that we had already paid several months ago for a night at the Hyatt Regency Embarcadero in San Francisco. We'd stayed there once before and I loved the location and the bedding--those people know their linens! So we decided to go for one night and stay there, then spend all day Saturday in SF before going home. Not an entire weekend getaway, but still a nice break from the routine. Plus, we spent three days of our honeymoon in SF so it seemed appropriate. Total cost (now) on the room for us: 13 cents for some random tax.
Then, Jared's patient who owns a limo service and trades with us from time to time asked Jared if he'd like to use the limo again. So, at no cost to us (except the trade) we got a ride into town and to dinner on Friday night, then picked up again on Saturday evening to go home. That meant no gas, no tolls, and no ridiculous SF parking (our hotel alone charged over $30 per night for parking.) Even the tip was part of the trade. Cha-ching. (Special bonus: no bickering over directions as we navigate a lesser-known city--priceless.)
We hit up Jared's parents to watch the boys while we were gone and paid them later in chocolate. Not a bad deal (for us, that is.) The boys can't wait for us to leave again, since Grammy and Papa took them to the circus and they had a marvelous time.
We went to dinner Friday night at a favorite Italian place, Lupa Trattoria in Noe Valley. We love their food and they always treat you like old friends, even if it's your first visit. The owner and chef actually greeted us at the door! (The photo to the left is of our appetizer--bosc pears wrapped in marscapone, then in prosciutto. Very good.)While we were eating some other patrons nearby kept ogling Bronwen (yes, we did take the baby--it was asking too much to leave her with the grandparents when she's still positively awful on a bottle.) They came up at one point and told us how much they missed their children's baby days--all teenagers now, of course. Later (after they'd had a bit too much wine,) one of them came back over and asked to touch her hair and showed us pictures of his children, etc. etc. Much to our surprise, when it was time to pay, the server announced that our bill had been taken care of by the other table! Chalk another one up for tithing!
The next day we wandered through the Ferry Building Marketplace, which is a foodie's paradise. On Saturday mornings there is a local farmer's market there, and inside the Ferry Building there are all sorts of specialty shops for artisan cheeses, wines, chocolates, breads, oils, pastries, and flowers. We sampled a few different things there and then made our way down the Embarcadero towards Pier 39 and Fisherman's Wharf (yes, totally touristy, but it was all within walking distance and it's fun to do once in a while.)
Among other things on the Pier we stopped to talk to the market researchers there and Jared qualified to do a one hour fast food taste test for a $100 pay out. At first, we thought we would both get to do it, but having the little tyke along was a problem, so I found a quiet spot to feed her while Jared did the taste test. I felt bad for him having to fill up on fast food when we were eating our way through town, but he was willing to take one for the team. (In the end they didn't need him, but paid him anyway, so he only spent 20 minutes and didn't have to sample any gross fish sandwiches, McRibs, or new-fangled fast food salads.)
All in all, we had a lovely time. We did a lot of walking, ate some of our favorite San Francisco food, enjoyed the out of doors and a Saturday that wasn't full of laundry, grocery shopping, and vacuuming. We ate in nice restaurants, picked up a few things shopping (including a "genuine" Coach wallet for $10, a gorgeous hand-silk-screened shirt sold on the street, lots of overpriced chocolate, and some used books from Helper's Bazaar, (where I got to meet the locally famous fashionista and philanthropist Joy Bianchi. She said, "You're a book person? I like book people. Come next door and let me show you some really special things." Next door, I got to see the upscale version of her shop, with vintage couture dresses, hats, and jewelry. When I googled it later, I found that was even cooler than I knew at the time.) And we did all of this for very little cash out of pocket.
Let's hear it for tithing!