Monday, October 10, 2011

The Voices in My Head

4:30AM. The alarm clock wakes me up. Today, I get out of bed quickly and head for the bathroom, thinking, "That was a decent night's sleep. No one woke me up in the middle of the night." I calculate and realize that I slept for 6 1/2 hours. That's when the voice in my head, the one I've decided to name Fat Girl, pipes in.

FG: Six and a half hours!? You think that's good? You'll need more than that if you are going to get your to-do list done today, let alone get through the day without yelling at your kids!

Luckily, Skinny Girl was awake this morning, too, so the battle in my head commenced.

SG: Sure, it would feel good to sleep some more, but you have to be up by 6:00 anyway to get the kids up and off to school. You haven't been to spin class in two weeks. You need this.

FG: You can go on Wednesday. Your spin buddy is out of town, after all. And they may run out of bikes before you get there. You don't have one reserved, remember?

SG: Oh, brother. How many times are you going to buy that excuse?

FG: And what about your hair? If you go back to bed, you won't have to wash it today.

SG: What about your jeans? You want them to keep getting tighter? Maybe move up a size?

At this point, I am leaning towards Skinny Girl and begin getting dressed. Fat Girl gives up-- for a while. I am 20 minutes into spin class when she shows up again.

FG: I'm tired. Can't you switch to a lower gear? Maybe just stay for half the class and then go do some weight lifting? Or head home and get a head start on the day?

SG: Ugh. Would you please leave me alone?! If I made the effort to come, I might as well get a decent workout in.

This morning, Skinny Girl was louder than Fat Girl, but it doesn't always work that way. And they don't just put in their two cents about workouts. Oh, no, they have lots to say when I am grocery shopping, when I am home alone with chocolate in the house, or when I'm running errands a little too near the cupcake place.

That's why I've decided to give them such decisive names. I know that I should be aiming toward Healthy Girl instead of Skinny Girl and I don't have anything against fat people. I just thought I'd take a page from the spin doctors who come up with powerfully suggestive names in order to sway how we think of things. I thought of a few examples, but I try to keep this blog from being overly political, so I'll just leave it up to your imagination:) Anyway, I figured that calling that negative voice in my head "Fat Girl" might make it easier for me to find the strength to shut her up more often than if I called her "Relax and Enjoy Yourself Girl".

How do you stop the voices in your head? I'd love to use some of your strategies, so please share.


Stace said...

You know the ice cream sandwiches called Fat Boys? I always wondered what the marketing would look like (not to mention the sales numbers) if they were called Fat Girls. I think that's an ingeniously unpleasant name for that particular inner voice. Might steal it.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Ha, I love that your voice is called Fat Girl. When my Fat Girl talks too much, I usually shut her up with brownies. Ha! I'm kidding (sort of), but I truly understand your battle. Self-discipline is so hard, especially for things that should be DAILY. I wish I knew the secret.

Kim said...

Ooo, thanks for the ammo for the next time you ask to skip our run so you dont have to wash your hair!!I'll just ask if I am speaking to FG or SG.:)

I'm glad I'm not the only one with an inner dialogue. There's a reason cartoons depict the angel and temptress on character's shoulders. We all do it. ;) And I don't neccesarily think we'd be better off without them. They keep me balanced.

Tamara @31dates said...

So.... Why are all the voices in your head so mean??

When does Beautiful Girl pipe up in these conversations and remind you how wonderful you are no matter what you do? Or are the other two yelling so much that BG is hard to hear?
Do you need me to speak louder? Or speak FOR her? I will!
I just won't be up at 4:30am...

Joyful Noise said...

Yeah, I need BG to speak a little louder. But she definitely does not need to speak at 4:30am for me to hear her!