Saturday, September 1, 2007

You Did What????


The brain of a two year old is a beautiful, frightening thing. Two year olds learn through exploration and experimentation. Sometimes they have to learn lessons the hard way (or the gross way, as the case may be.) Take this little vignette from our home Friday evening.
I'll set the stage. Jared is gone for the evening again (I'm a State Fair widow through Labor Day while he mans a booth there in his non-office hours.) I am trying to keep my kids in bed. Somehow, only moments after I kiss them good night and turn out the lights, they have a desperate need to get up and go to the bathroom one more time. Feeling exhausted and ready for them to all be asleep, I nevertheless succumb to Ian's plea from his bedroom, "Moooooom, I think I need to go potty!"
I get him up and see him sit down. He "tinkles", but informs me that there is more to come. I leave the bathroom, feeling that giving him my attention is a reward for being out of bed--that and I am just ready to be by myself for a few minutes. He's probably in there for a good ten minutes being so quiet that I forget that he's not in bed. When I do remember, I jump up and run in. He is sitting on the toilet with his head completely soaked--dripping, in fact.

Me: Ian, why is your hair wet?
Ian: Huh?
Me: Son, why is your hair wet?
Ian: Because it's wet. (This is the way he answers EVERY "why" question, and yet I continue to ask them as if I'm expecting a real answer.)
Me: Ian, HOW DID YOUR HAIR GET WET?
Ian: In the potty.
Me: YOU PUT YOUR HEAD IN THE POTTY?
Ian: uh-huh.
Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAh!

I immediately strip him down, swat him once on the bottom, and place him in the tub while running his second bath in an hour's time. He is shocked by how quickly I am moving and by how traumatized I clearly am.

Me: (disgusted, and wondering if I will ever be able to kiss his hair again) Ian, the potty water is dirty. That' s just for going potty and throwing up, but we never touch the water. Okay?
Ian: (mollified) Okay, Mommy. Can I take a bath now?

Sometimes, you just have to learn the hard way, I guess.

10 comments:

Rebecca said...

I have never had a kid stick his head in the potty...Ian trumps all the kids on that one probably! But, I feel the pain of having them get up continuously after being tucked snugly into their beds. They always need a drink or to go potty. I have given up and told them to get what they need by themselves and get back to bed and I just pretend they aren't even up!

Michal said...

rebecca,
isn't it the worst when you think they are all down for the night and you finally have some time for yourself--and then they pop up again? it's exactly like that at my house with the drinks and potty. it's enough to drive you crazy (if you were sane to begin with!:)

Jen said...

Wow. I am amazed.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm impressed that Ian is willing to put his head in water! I've got one child who won't dunk her head in any water at all. And she has some toileting issues. If someone put her head in the toilet water she would be in therapy about it for the rest of her life.

Michal said...

jen,
i guess i should count my blessings that he obviously wasn't traumatized or needing therapy after this incident. it seems that few things can traumatize that kid, although he doesn't like things that go bump in the night (nor do i).

Harry's Mom said...

Michal - it's been a while since I visited the blog. May I just say, it's adorable! And so are you. The photo of you with the baby is just gorgeous!! Keep on writing! Stacy

Michal said...

stacy, thanks! i'm glad that you haven't given up on me. you are (as always) more complimentary than i deserve. maybe that's one reason i love you!

Deborah Gamble said...

Oh that is bad news!! How do they think of such things?

Michal said...

debbie,
isn't a toddler's brain fascinating? and scary?

Anna said...

"wondering if I will ever be able to kiss his hair again" LOL!

Kids! It always amazes me the things they come up with to try. You didn't know to tell him not to stick his head in the toilet because it never occurred to you that he would do something like that! Where do they come up with these things?

Macy said...

Oh my. I see my future. :)