Saturday, September 1, 2007
You Did What????
The brain of a two year old is a beautiful, frightening thing. Two year olds learn through exploration and experimentation. Sometimes they have to learn lessons the hard way (or the gross way, as the case may be.) Take this little vignette from our home Friday evening.
I'll set the stage. Jared is gone for the evening again (I'm a State Fair widow through Labor Day while he mans a booth there in his non-office hours.) I am trying to keep my kids in bed. Somehow, only moments after I kiss them good night and turn out the lights, they have a desperate need to get up and go to the bathroom one more time. Feeling exhausted and ready for them to all be asleep, I nevertheless succumb to Ian's plea from his bedroom, "Moooooom, I think I need to go potty!"
I get him up and see him sit down. He "tinkles", but informs me that there is more to come. I leave the bathroom, feeling that giving him my attention is a reward for being out of bed--that and I am just ready to be by myself for a few minutes. He's probably in there for a good ten minutes being so quiet that I forget that he's not in bed. When I do remember, I jump up and run in. He is sitting on the toilet with his head completely soaked--dripping, in fact.
Me: Ian, why is your hair wet?
Me: Son, why is your hair wet?
Ian: Because it's wet. (This is the way he answers EVERY "why" question, and yet I continue to ask them as if I'm expecting a real answer.)
Me: Ian, HOW DID YOUR HAIR GET WET?
Ian: In the potty.
Me: YOU PUT YOUR HEAD IN THE POTTY?
I immediately strip him down, swat him once on the bottom, and place him in the tub while running his second bath in an hour's time. He is shocked by how quickly I am moving and by how traumatized I clearly am.
Me: (disgusted, and wondering if I will ever be able to kiss his hair again) Ian, the potty water is dirty. That' s just for going potty and throwing up, but we never touch the water. Okay?
Ian: (mollified) Okay, Mommy. Can I take a bath now?
Sometimes, you just have to learn the hard way, I guess.