Over the Hill

If you want to feel great about how gracefully you are aging; if you want to believe that there is nothing scary or old about getting closer to 40 with every birthday; if you want to be able to live on less than 10 hours of sleep a night without turning into the Wicked Witch of the East, I highly recommend that you reconsider having a baby after you've turned 35.

I'm not saying that I would have done it differently, but I was unprepared for being treated like a senior citizen by my doctor's office. I should have seen it coming; certainly I've read all the pregnancy books several times over (during my first 3 pregnancies--I'm not even sure where they are now). I knew that having a baby after 35 pushed you into the high risk category. But somehow I thought that number just meant that the farther past 35 a woman was, the more . . . what? More likely yukky things can happen to you like gestational diabetes, preenclampsia, and a ridiculously huge belly compared to the 24 year olds!

I started catching on when I called my doctor's office to set up my first prenatal appointment. Not only do I abhor making phone calls that involve committing to something else on the calendar, but I also didn't want this pregnancy to seem like it was taking forever, so I didn't get around to calling them until I was 8 weeks pregnant. Okay, 8 1/2 weeks. But since I have typically not been seen until 11 or 12 weeks, I wasn't concerned.

The girl on the other end of the phone practically went into hysterics. Apparently since I was now of "Advanced Maternal Age," they wanted to see me much earlier. At 8 1/2 weeks, in fact. Did I expect them to fit me in that day or something? I assured her that I did not and that I had no desire to put their office into a tailspin with the terrible news of my pregnancy.

After talking her down off the ledge, I figured out that this very important appointment that HAD to be done at 8 1/2 weeks if we wanted to avoid a nuclear holocaust was an appointment with the geneticist. Basically, it is standard procedure to check for all sorts of genetic abnormalities at this time, just in case. I knew that just in case meant just in case I wanted to terminate the pregnancy, so I assured her that I didn't need to have this particular test-- that we would not be taking any action in the event of a genetic abnormality anyway, so why waste everybody's time?

Although my doctor continues to act as cool as a cucumber about the entire thing, the rest of his staff continue to try to force extra testing on me, all the while shaking their heads and wondering why anyone would take such crazy risks, especially when we already have four kids at home.

The real reason that I think it stinks to be pregnant and 35? There are exactly 8 women in my ward (congregation) who are pregnant this spring. One of them is due long past me, also with her 5th. The others? They are all young, cute, petite 20-somethings having their first or second baby. They look adorable, radiant, and tiny with a little baby bump. I'm sure they won't agree, but they do. Oh yeah, and they are mostly due BEFORE me--but you'd never guess it in a line-up!

But at the same time, it struck me the other day how blessed I am to be taking part with Heavenly Father in the creation of one of His children; that it is a great privilege to sacrifice my comforts to give life and a family and opportunity to a sweet little girl who will call me Mommy.

Yes, motherhood (and pregnancy) requires lots of work, sacrifice, and sleep-deprivation, often with little thanks. But it is all worth it. It is a HUGE part of why we are here and of how He intends to help us become like Him. And in spite of the aches, pains, nausea, fatigue, extra tests, and looks of shock on people's faces when they realize that I'm pregnant AGAIN, I wouldn't change it for the world.

Happy Birthday To Me

Today I turned 35 years old. I think that it is the first birthday in years where I actually felt older. And more mature, somehow. For one thing, instead of wanting the entire month to be about me and my birthday, I am feeling lower key. Not bummed or anything, I just feel like it's not that big of a deal. I am not the kind of person who fears getting older (mostly) --I do sometimes feel sad about how quickly life seems to be moving along, though.

Jared made me an amazing breakfast this morning. The boys made me some adorable birthday cards--Henry created a treasure hunt for me to hunt for his. We are having family here for dinner and games tonight. I have visitors in town (so fun.) And I have a tremendously flat tire on my new van. Drat. Happy birthday!

Anyhow, I thought it was time to check in on my 40 Things To Do Before I'm 40 list. It hasn't been that long since I made it, but I have checked a few things off. I plan to revisit the list with updates on my birthdays until I can check them all off.

1. Get under 150 pounds without having a limb amputated. Heck, I'd take under 160, but we'll say under 150. (Not even close)
   
2. Scan all my photos that are pre-digital camera. (ugh. If someone else wants to do it for me, I won't mind taking this off the list!) (Nope)
   
3. Paint my kitchen cupboards. It's been on my to-do wish list since we bought the house four years ago. Sigh. Maybe I don't like the direction this list is taking. Let's try a different route. (Not yet)
   
4. Use my passport again (which probably means I'm due for a new one.) My last passport-requiring trip was in spring of 1999. (I wish)
   
5. Brush up on my Russian so that I'm not too scared to speak Russian to the Russian-speakers that are everywhere around here, especially at Costco. Plus it may come in handy if #4 involves a Russian speaking country. (Not enough to take credit for.)
   
6. Teach my kids Russian. It's ridiculous that we haven't done that, since Jared & I are both speakers (he more than I these days.) (I have plans to start this in the fall.)
   
7. Read War and Peace. (I haven't been in the mood.)
8. And The Brothers Karamazov. I'm ashamed of myself to say that even though some of my favorite books are by Tolstoy and Dostoevsky, I've never read these two. (See #7)
   
9. Learn to sew well enough to make something that I'll actually use. Okay, something better than an apron. This could be a dress for Bronwen, drapes for my house, etc. The said item will not be mostly made by my sister and/or mother as have my previous sewing projects! (Not yet. Sheesh. Maybe this was a bad idea!)
   
10. Win a cooking recipe contest. Ideally, one that involves a cash prize.:) (I have to enter a recipe contest first.)
    
11. Participate in a 5k for a good cause. I've been meaning to do Race for the Cure for years. Or The Run to Feed the Hungry on Thanksgiving Day. (Race for the Cure came and went without me this year.)
    
12. Run a 5k for a good cause! Since I'm not what you'd call a runner, this will be a big accomplishment. (I've got to be able to run more than a quarter mile first.)
    
13. Learn to love hiking and expose my kids to the great hikes available near our home. (This one is in progress. We have been taking lots of nature walks, but so far none of them have been very strenuous.)
    
14. Establish a family hobby of hiking. (See #13.)
    
15. Plant a garden. (Yeah! I did this one. Completed April 2008.)
    
16. Actually tend it, harvest, and eat what I grow. I'm hoping to do this this year, but haven't quite gotten the beds prepared yet. I'd better hurry--it's time. (In progress, but I think I can check this one off, too, since we are actually producing food and eating it. Success! Summer 2008.)
    
17. Have no consumer debt and be well on our way to out of debt completely. (Not done, but I also haven't added to our consumer debt.:)
    
18. Have two months' living expenses in our savings' account. This must happen sooner than five years from now, but I still want it to be there then!:) (Not there yet, but a bit farther than I was when I wrote the list.)
    
19. Learn to love Isaiah. I read Isaiah because I'm obedient, but not because I enjoy it or take the time to decipher it. (See #7.)
    
20. Learn to make cream puffs. Because I need more cream puffs in my life!:) (Done! Father's Day 2008. I had forgotten that I put this on the list, but it was a good one. Now I know how easy they are and I won't be intimidated anymore by their loveliness.)
    
21. Maybe 40 is too many things! This list already feels long. I'd better make a few easier ones, like: Turn 39. (Give me a few more years, please!)
    
22. Have another baby. Maybe two. I'm just getting it out there now, so that people can quit asking me if we're "done," and to avoid having them ask me, "was this planned?" when they find out that I'm pregnant again. (It really is crazy how many people feel comfortable asking such questions, including perfect strangers. Aren't those kind of personal in nature?) Not that I'm pregnant again. But I plan to be before I'm 40, which is the point of this list. (I am not pregnant, nor have I had another child in the last few months. But this is still in the plans. Strangely, lots of people have been inquiring lately as to how soon we're having another one. I'm not sure if they are pushing us towards it or hoping we've changed our minds! Not that it matters what other people think about the size of our family. Which is good, because most people out there think that you are really fringe if you have five kids. Let alone homeschool them!)
    
23. Write/keep another blog, entirely dedicated to food, recipes, and menu plans. (Not ready to do this right now. Still trying to keep my head above water in the other areas of my life.)
    
24. Write/keep another blog, entirely dedicated to homeschooling. (Done. I wish I spent more time on it, but I'm trying to keep the time I spend blogging reasonable. Blog began April 2008.)
    
25. Get my master bedroom windows treated with something other than the metal blinds that were there when we moved in. (I've picked out the fabric.)
    
26. Paint the master bedroom. (Done May 2008. Thanks, Christine and Mandy! Still need to get the master bathroom painted.)
    
27. Actually hang a wall of family pictures. (Puleeze! How well do you know me?)
    
28. Find something that I like AND can afford to hang on the dining room walls, which are blank. (Not done.)
29. Memorize The Family: A Proclamation to the World. (I've got one paragraph memorized. I am easily distracted, so it's been a few months since I worked on this.)
    
30. Start practicing the piano again with some regularity. (The regularity part has not happened. But I did get out some old sheet music a few weeks ago and have been playing a few times a week. Still needs work, but it is in progress.)
    
31. Develop a healthier relationship with cake. (This has not been a good cake week for me.) (Define healthier.)
    
32. Develop a habit of writing (and actually mailing) thank you cards. I am terrible at this, and yet I believe that it is so important. The paradox between ideals and reality is not fun! (Sadly, no progress here. I actually wrote a thank you card to Teresa last week and don't know where I put it. Typical.)
33. Help my children develop a habit of writing thank you cards. (No. I need a time out.)
    
34. Mail the thank you cards that I teach my children to write! (Had they written any, I surely would not have mailed them.)
    
35. Re-read Shakespeare. Probably with my kids. (Not yet, but soon.)
    
36. Take an html class. (Are you reading this, Mindy?) (No, but Mindy and I are discussing it.)
    
37. Learn how to not accumulate things we don't need. This will not only save money, but will reduce the clutter around my house. (I have been making progress on this, but I'm not fixed yet. I have been studying materialism and worldliness in my scripture study and that has helped. I have stuck to my new, smaller budget for five months now!)
    
38. This is harder than I thought, and most of you have probably stopped reading by now anyway, so I'll just leave it at 38. Maybe I'll come back and add something later. That's it--I'm just leaving room for a few more additions. I'm still not feeling inspired to add any here. Partly because I still have a lot to accomplish. But I've got a few years left.

So, there you have it. I am pleased to see some progress made, and I shouldn't be surprised that I haven't done more of them--this list was not intended to be accomplished in three months, after all.

So, have a piece of cake today and think of me.
You can have a healthier relationship with cake some other time. :)


(Photo is of my darling nephew, Scotty, who is visiting for a few days with his mommy, auntie, and second cousin.)

40 Things To Do Before I'm 40

I'm turning 35 in a few months. Turning 30 didn't phase me, but somehow with 35, I sense that I'm not getting any younger. I know that 35 doesn't qualify as old age, but I'm pretty sure that I thought it was old when I was a newlywed 10 1/2 years ago! Anyhow, I was inspired recently at Notes From the Trenches' list of things to accomplish before she's 40. At first, it seemed funny to me, as if the premise was that life ends at 40. And then I thought, why not? It's basically just setting some goals to accomplish in the next 5 years. Since I'm a girl who operates best with a deadline, it's probably a good idea. I can always make a new list of things to do before I'm 50, right? (Wince) The suggestion that I might one day be 50 is now making me a bit squeamish. That's my mom's age (in my head, that is. She'll actually be 60 this year, but she's still 50ish to me.)
Well, the point is that there is no time like the present to compile my list. So here it goes, in no particular order. Forty things I'd like to do before I'm 40:

1. Get under 150 pounds without having a limb amputated. Heck, I'd take under 160, but we'll say under 150.
2. Scan all my photos that are pre-digital camera. (ugh. If someone else wants to do it for me, I won't mind taking this off the list!)
3. Paint my kitchen cupboards. It's been on my to-do wish list since we bought the house four years ago. Sigh. Maybe I don't like the direction this list is taking. Let's try a different route.
   
4. Use my passport again (which probably means I'm due for a new one.) My last passport-requiring trip was in spring of 1999.
   
5. Brush up on my Russian so that I'm not too scared to speak Russian to the Russian-speakers that are everywhere around here, especially at Costco. Plus it may come in handy if #4 involves a Russian speaking country.
6. Teach my kids Russian. It's ridiculous that we haven't done that, since Jared & I are both speakers (he more than I these days.)
7. Read War and Peace.
   
8. And The Brothers Karamazov. I'm ashamed of myself to say that even though some of my favorite books are by Tolstoy and Dostoevsky, I've never read these two.
9. Learn to sew well enough to make something that I'll actually use. Okay, something better than an apron. This could be a dress for Bronwen, drapes for my house, etc. The said item will not be mostly made by my sister and/or mother as have my previous sewing projects!
10. Win a cooking recipe contest. Ideally, one that involves a cash prize.:)
11. Participate in a 5k for a good cause. I've been meaning to do Race for the Cure for years. Or The Run to Feed the Hungry on Thanksgiving Day.
    
12. Run a 5k for a good cause! Since I'm not what you'd call a runner, this will be a big accomplishment.
13. Learn to love hiking and expose my kids to the great hikes available near our home.
    
14. Establish a family hobby of hiking.
15. Plant a garden.
16. Actually tend it, harvest, and eat what I grow. I'm hoping to do this this year, but haven't quite gotten the beds prepared yet. I'd better hurry--it's time.
17. Have no consumer debt and be well on our way to out of debt completely.
18. Have two months' living expenses in our savings' account. This must happen sooner than five years from now, but I still want it to be there then!:)
19. Learn to love Isaiah. I read Isaiah because I'm obedient, but not because I enjoy it or take the time to decipher it.
20. Learn to make cream puffs. Because I need more cream puffs in my life!:)
    
21. Maybe 40 is too many things! This list already feels long. I'd better make a few easier ones, like: Turn 39.
22. Have another baby. Maybe two. I'm just getting it out there now, so that people can quit asking me if we're "done," and to avoid having them ask me, "was this planned?" when they find out that I'm pregnant again. (It really is crazy how many people feel comfortable asking such questions, including perfect strangers. Aren't those kind of personal in nature?) Not that I'm pregnant again. But I plan to be before I'm 40, which is the point of this list.
23. Write/keep another blog, entirely dedicated to food, recipes, and menu plans.
24. Write/keep another blog, entirely dedicated to homeschooling.
    
25. Get my master bedroom windows treated with something other than the metal blinds that were there when we moved in.
26. Paint the master bedroom.
27. Actually hang a wall of family pictures.
28. Find something that I like AND can afford to hang on the dining room walls, which are blank.
29. Memorize The Family: A Proclamation to the World.
30. Start practicing the piano again with some regularity.
31. Develop a healthier relationship with cake. (This has not been a good cake week for me.)
32. Develop a habit of writing (and actually mailing) thank you cards. I am terrible at this, and yet I believe that it is so important. The paradox between ideals and reality is not fun!
33. Help my children develop a habit of writing thank you cards.
    
34. Mail the thank you cards that I teach my children to write!
35. Re-read Shakespeare. Probably with my kids.
36. Take an html class. (Are you reading this, Mindy?)
    
37. Learn how to not accumulate things we don't need. This will not only save money, but will reduce the clutter around my house. This is a good blog to read for inspiration.
38. This is harder than I thought, and most of you have probably stopped reading by now anyway, so I'll just leave it at 38. Maybe I'll come back and add something later. That's it--I'm just leaving room for a few more additions.

Whew! I'm exhausted. I'd better get off the computer and get to work! Do you think that five years will be enough time?