Question of the Day

So I'm going to try something and see how it works. I'm posting a question for you, my readers. And I want you to leave a comment with your answer. So here goes:

• If you could have anything for dinner tonight, what would it be? Would you make it, would someone you love make it, or would you be ordering it in a restaurant?
  

Here's my answer:

I'm in the mood for something that someone else made tonight, perhaps because I have spent the last 2 1/2 days making food for Jared's Patient Appreciation Day. If I could have anything I wanted for dinner tonight, I'd have Mexican food at Erin's house. Although I'd be thrilled to eat anything at Erin's house. We'd eat until we were too full and then lounge by the pool while the kids played, talking about our college days, homeschooling, recipes, and blogging. It's quite a drive to get there, but the more I think about it, the more I want to hop in the car.

Leave the light on for me, Erin! I'll be in sometime in the middle of the night.

(This picture was taken the last time we had Mexican food at Erin's, in July.)

Now, what do you want to eat?

Taking Note

As you know, I had the blessing of spending two weeks visiting family and old friends this month. Upon returning home, I have been reflecting on all the things I learned from the mothers with whom I visited. With some of them, I have had many opportunities to observe them mothering their children. Others I had not had the chance to spend much time with since they became mothers. I am so grateful for each of these women and the things that they taught me about how to mother my own. I know that none of them are perfect (they would be quick to protest such praise themselves), and I try hard to dispel the myth of the perfect mom, but we can take note of their strengths and try to make them ours as well.

Angela, my sister-in-law, reminded me (without saying a word to me), of the importance of quiet discipline. Angela is so wonderful when her children misbehave. She gets down on their level and firmly but lovingly discusses with them the bad choices they are making. There is no question that her children feel safe and loved even when they are in big trouble. This is a concern of mine when I yell or harshly scold. I want my children to feel safe and never doubt my love for them. Of course I already knew that I should be doing this, but watching Angela in action made me resolve to do it more often, and not just when I can tell that the old lady in the grocery store is watching!
Lindsee, another SIL, makes fun and relationships a priority over her to-do list. She doesn't let a sink of dirty dishes stop her from taking time with her children when they need it. She thinks that this is a weakness, but I see great strength in her ability to be a Mary when I tend towards Martha. The dishes will always wait patiently, and although they must eventually be washed, the needs of our children are so much more vital than a clean kitchen. Lindsee also gets involved in the fun, not worried about getting dirty or being uncomfortable. I have made a note to walk away from my chores more often and have fun with my kids when I could be doing housework.


Molly, our new(ish) step-cousin, is another great example. I mostly know Molly from reading her blog, but we've met a time or two before, prior to her being a mother. Molly has two daughters, a three year old and a three month old with some special needs. Molly is a wonderful example of having a cheerful heart and a can-do attitude. We got to spend some time together at our family reunion on the 4th of July and Molly wasn't flustered and stressed out, even when her baby was fussing and being needy. She wasn't feeling sorry for herself that she was missing out on all the fun while most of us were out in the orchard enjoying dinner and she was inside trying to calm down Alice. And when I sat down to talk with her, she didn't fill my ear up with how hard it is to have a child with special needs . . . she was upbeat, happy, and full of light. I loved visiting with Molly and holding precious Alice until she went to sleep. And I remembered how often I tend to stress out when things aren't going just the way I expected them to. I'm a control freak that way. And I want to chill out and be more like Molly--willing to go with the flow rather than trying to control everything and falling apart when I can't. (I didn't take a picture of Molly, but here is her dad, Tom, with baby Alice.)


Being around Bec, my cousin, reminded me of something that I'd noted when I'd been to visit her in Washington, DC last fall. It's something so little and yet I have tried to change my ways with Bronwen because of Bec's example. Here's what I learned from Bec: she lets her toddlers feed themselves messy foods. On a regular basis. Okay, this may not seem strange to you. It isn't strange. But as you can already tell from the earlier lessons I've mentioned above, I'm kind of a controlling kinda girl who is striving to loosen up. My independent one year olds? They tend to eat foods that won't make a big tremendous mess. Until I visited Bec, it didn't even OCCUR to me to put milk on the cereal of a child under four. I know that it ridiculous, but it's the sad and honest truth. But I am a new woman. I give spaghetti covered in sauce (not plain) to my baby now, cereal with milk and a spoon (knowing full well it will get dumped on the floor,) yogurt in her own cup . . . I am finding that it is so much easier than feeding her myself, plus she is so much happier to be feeding herself these messy foods. I'm also thinking that it may help her not grow up to be as picky as her older brothers, who were fed less messy foods (and thus, less variety) at her age. Bec, you may think that this is a silly non-lesson, but it is clearly one that I needed to learn. And watching Brandon eat a bowl of cereal and milk on the ground at the parade reminded me of it. (See how his baby brother, Trevor, wants in on the action?)


Heidi has been a friend of mine since we were teenagers. We used to go to stake dances together, toilet papered many a house together, and played a few practical jokes one year at girls' camp. She was a year younger than me, went to a different high school and ward, so we spent time together in spurts until we were roommates for a couple of years at BYU. I had really only seen Heidi a couple of times since she became a mom five years ago, and those times were at events like weddings when I didn't get to really watch her in action. This time, Heidi's mothering really stood out to me because she was so relaxed about letting the kids be kids. I know Heidi well enough to know that she likes to control things around her as much as I do, but she was so low-key about kids coming in and out of the backyard with grassy, wet feet, kids leaving the sliding door open when it was 25 degrees warmer outside than in, kids spreading toys all over the family room floor while sitting on the carpet in their damp (or soaking wet) bathing suits. Now don't get me wrong--Heidi's house was not a mess. It was clean and neat when we got there, and I'm sure that she keeps it looking nice. But Heidi's mothering reminded me that the kids are more important than the clean house or the electric bill. She was happy that they were having fun and wasn't going to spend the hour and a half that she had to catch up with Alli and me nagging her kids to close the door and wipe their feet. Her house felt clean and neat enough, but it also felt homey, lived in, and comfortable. Just the place you'd want to be. And the fresh brownies, hummus with french bread, and chips and salsa (all of our old foods) that were waiting when we arrived added to that homey welcome. Because she was relaxed, I was relaxed, and didn't worry about my kids being perfect either.

Erin, aka Prudence Pennywise, is Heidi's older sister. She and I became friends when she returned home from her mission and moved in with Heidi and me and some others at BYU. This was a special blessing for me at the time, because it was my junior year at BYU and the year I really needed to decide if I was going to serve a mission. Erin was a wonderful influence on me then, as she is now. I really miss being able to stay up all night talking to her. She has also been a great influence on my love for cooking. Anyway, we got to spend an afternoon swimming with her and her kids, then had a delicious Mexican feast, then talked and talked until it was too late and we needed to be in bed. One of the things that Erin said while we were talking struck me. She said, "You know the kind of family that saves all the fun for the adults, after the kids are in bed? It's all about the adults in those families when they get together." Hmmmm, I wondered. Does that sound familiar? I will admit that I am someone who is anxious to get my kids to bed at night (by 7:30 if at all possible) so that I can have some time without them. Now, my kids are also early risers regardless of what time they get to bed, so I have always justified their early bedtime easily, since they need to sleep. But I don't know if I spend a lot of time making sure that they have plenty of fun when we are together as a family. Sunday nights after dinner we race to get the kids to be so that we can play games with the other adults in the family. I'm not sure yet how I'm going to change this, but it's the mindset that I'd like to borrow from Erin. She knows how to make everything fun--and she'd never dream of denying that to her kids. We (all--not just the grown ups) had so much fun on our visit there that I'm already trying to figure out a way to get back to St. George sooner than later. (Since Erin and I managed to stay out of all the pictures, I'll just have to post some of our children enjoying the food together. And not one of my picky eaters was anything other than th-rilled at the food.)



I'll bet if I thought about it some more, I could name something wonderful that I learned from every aunt, cousin, and friend that I came across on my two week jaunt. I can't help but feel so grateful and humbled that the Lord has surrounded me with strong women of faith, who love their children and are striving to be the best mothers they can be. Their influence on me is a great blessing in my life.

Introducing . . .

Ladies and Gentlemen (are there at least two of you boys out there?), I am pleased to introduce Prudence Pennywise, the alter ego and blog of one of my dearest friends, former roommates, and cooking mentors. She just launched this amazing blog featuring delicious food for a great price. I will vouch for each and every recipe, even if I haven't tried them yet. But I will be getting busy to make some of the Nantucket Cranberry White Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies as soon as I locate the ingredients (I'm at my mom's, whose pantry is not as prepared for spur-of-the-moment cookie baking.)
You simply must check out Prudy, leave her a comment telling her I sent you (so she knows who loves her best,) and try a recipe today.

Friend, Mentor, Guru . . . Erin!

One of my dearest friends ever, Erin, (who has been mentioned in several past posts,) has been making a name for herself over the past few years by winning many, many recipe contests. She has been to the Pillsbury Cook-Off more than once and every time I talk to her she has just returned from another competition in a far off city.
Erin is doing a holiday entertaining blog for Rachael Ray this holiday season, and whether you love Ms. Ray or you love to hate her, you simply must frequent Erin's posts. She went live today and the first post is about her family's annual Halloween tradition, which is what inspired ours
(although we are crazy enough to invite nearly everyone we know, in addition to the random trick-or-treaters that come by). Wander over and see what she has to say.

Soup Recipes

Jared's Patient Appreciation Day was a success and so were my soups. I had many requests to post the recipes, so they are below. The vegetarian chili recipe can be found here.
This Potato Cheese Soup I only make when I am taking it to poison other people. It is not remotely low calorie or low fat. As a once in a while treat, or when fattening up your husband's patients, it is just the thing.

Jared's Favorite Potato Cheese Soup
(Thanks to Erin Mylroie for sharing this recipe years ago.)

• 12 cups chicken broth
• 2 onions, chopped
• 8 large potatoes, peeled and chopped
• 3 large carrots, peeled and chopped (or use a 1 lb bad of baby carrots)
• fresh parsley
• 1 cup butter
• 1 1/2 cups flour
• 4 cups cream, half-and-half, or whole milk (I generally use the whole milk)
• Salt and fresh ground pepper, to taste
• 3-4 cups shredded cheddar cheese.
  

Bring the chicken broth, onions, potatoes, and carrots to a boil in a large stockpot. Allow to simmer for 30-45 minutes until the vegetables are soft. Maintain low boil while preparing the roux: Melt butter in medium saucepan over medium heat. Add flour and whisk until pasty but smooth. Slowly add milk or cream, whisking thoroughly to eliminate lumps. Allow to thicken as it cooks until the roux begins to bubble. Remove from heat. Temper the roux by adding about 2 cups of the soup to it and mixing. Add roux/soup mixture to remaining soup and mix well. Do not allow soup to boil after adding the roux. Add a generous amount of chopped parsely, salt and pepper to taste. Add about half the cheese to the soup and mix in. Serve soup sprinkled with cheese and parsley and freshly ground pepper. Serves 10-12

Beef Stew
(another favorite recipe from Erin)

• 2 lbs. lean stew meat
• 1/2 c. flour
• 2 T. butter
• 2 T. olive oil
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 grated potato
• 2 whole cloves
• 2 bay leaf
• 2 t. thyme
  
• 2 cups red wine
• 2 cups beef broth
  
• 8 medium potatoes, peeled and chopped
• 8 baby carrots
• 2 onions, peeled and sliced in wedges
  
• 4 large carrots, peeled and chopped
• 1/4 c. fresh parsley, chopped
  
• 15 oz can crushed tomatoes in puree

Dredge the beef in flour. In a dutch oven over medium heat melt the butter and warm the olive oil. Brown the beef and garlic, then add the grated potato, cloves, bay leaves, thyme, wine, and broth. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer, covered, for one hour. Add the remaining potatoes, onions, and carrots and allow to simmer for half an hour more. Salt and pepper to taste (fresh cracked black pepper is best here.) Add fresh parsley and crushed tomatoes just before serving. Serves 8.

Soup's On!

Obsessive With a Capital O

Yes, that's me. Not be confused with Obsessive Compulsive, which would be my husband and at least one of my kids. Ok, so no one has been diagnosed and we're all still functioning, but I think that you can safely say that there is some of that floating around in the genes at our house.
I think that I have always been this way. In my childhood, it mostly manifested by my obsession with books. Most of the photos taken of my during my grade school years involve a book in my hands. Kimball is like me in that way. He brings along a book to read in the car if we are going to be gone for 5 minutes.
In college, I began to jump from obsession to obsession (as I continue to do)--often there was a boy involved, sometimes one who didn't know I existed! (Those of you who knew me in college may remember Mr. Density--not a typo, a reference from Back To the Future--and other Library Lovers who kept me headed to the great and spacious building to study and hope they'd show up!) I also went on stints of food obsessions. I remember one time that Erin, Heidi, and I went to Tony Roma's in Provo for their Chicken Caesar Salad ten times in two weeks. It was ridiculous considering my college spending money budget (and I obviously had no idea how laden with fat Caesar salad is,) but it was a need that had to be filled if we wanted to sleep at night! Another time McArthur and I beat a regular path to Pizza Pipeline for their Cinnamon Twists. Yum (I think I need to plan a trip to Provo!)
Which brings me to my current obsession: Halloween costumes. My kids have been discussing Halloween costumes randomly since November 2nd of last year and I have been telling them that we don't get to really plan Halloween until school starts. Well wouldn't you know that over after-school snack on the first day of school, Kimball piped up to remind us all that Halloween is around the corner (I know, it's scary how much my kids are like me.) And now,for some reason, I am spending a ridiculous amount of time searching for the perfect Halloween costume for the baby. I'm not sure why the others' are not occupying so much of my brain as hers is. I promise it's not because she's my favorite. I don't even think it's because it can be something girl-y (trying to fool my filter with strange spellings). But for some reason, I want it to be perfect--perfectly adorable, perfectly reasonable for her to crawl and move around in, and perfectly priced. This is the one time of year when I really kick myself for not learning any of my mother's amazing sewing skills. I guess it is also the one time of year when I shop obsessively and then beg my mom to sew costumes for the kids.
Anyway, I thought I had found a costume that fit the bill. Here it is:
Now, this may not look that different from all of the other ladybug costumes out there to you, but it is by far the cutest one I've found. I was so excited to see that babystyle (where it is listed) was offering $2 shipping on costumes ordered in August, and I had every intention of buying the costume. But I am a procrastinator as well as an obsessor, so rather than buy it immediately, I chose to look at it again every day until August 31st, just to make sure it was still THE ONE. Who expects there to be any danger of a Halloween costume selling out in August, for goodness sake!?
Well, you guessed it, this one is gone. And babystyle has posted this comment:"We're sorry, but this cute costume is permanently sold out. We will not be receiving more before Halloween."
How could they?
When I discovered this I was horrified and began perusing costume websites all over the place to find another perfect costume. And nothing that is remotely in my price range is good enough. I have run across a designer of children's costumes that is amazing (but well outside of my price range.) Here are a few of my favorites (I'm including boy favorites too, since Bronwen's not getting a $60 costume no matter how cute she is):There are loads more. So cute. There are some on ebay, so I might be able to pick one up at a more reasonable price. But which one, and how much is reasonable? The scary thing is that I am thinking about this more that I am about what I'm going to make for dinner tonight (maybe Chicken Caesar Salad?) or world peace or family history or anything much more worthwhile. Oh well. Check out my poll in the sidebar--I think I'll poll my readers to find out which one is your favorite. Provided I like your answer and it's available on ebay, I can get it. Then maybe I'll be able to move on to a new obsession--how about laundry?

The Nurturing Power of Food

I'm a foodie. Food snob. Lover of food. Call it what you will, I am a firm believer that good food is a part of enjoying our life. The way we define "good food" may vary from person to person--to some it's all about the taste, for others it's all about being nutritious. Environmentalists say that good food is organic, others claim that all raw food, unprocessed diets are the way to do. I try to strike a balance for myself and my family, preparing food as often as possible from unprocessed ingredients, using mostly whole grains, watching fat intake, buying organic when it's not outrageously priced (I do have a family of six, after all!), but taste does matter to me. If something doesn't taste good, it doesn't matter how good for me it is, I probably won't make it again.

In Weight Watchers we talk about how food often fills emotional needs and that we need to be mindful when we are eating. I wholeheartedly believe that is true. At the same time, food can be a effective way to express love, support, and to nurture those we love. It doesn't have to be bad-for-you food in order to do these things, but there is something powerful in fixing a meal for someone you love. Think of a time when you have been sick and wished that your mother was there, fixing some comfort food of your childhood for you.

When I had Bronwen a few months ago, several friends brought meals by in the first couple of weeks. I felt so loved and supported at a time when I really needed it. The same was true when my father passed away--there was little that people could do to help at first, but one thing they could do--and did--was feed our family. We felt their love and concern in every soup, pot roast, and lasagne that came our way.

That is one reason that I am so sad to see the disappearance of the homecooked family dinner in our society. We have all become busier, wealthier, and more independent from each other in the past 100 years, and family dinners are one of the casualties. But gathering together to eat a meal prepared with love does much more than merely feed our family members. It gives us a chance to connect with each other and talk about what is important to us. It teaches our children how to accept and tolerate different foods, even if they aren't their favorites (instead of ordering off a menu or choosing a frozen dinner). Often, members of the family cooperate together to prepare the meal as well, cooking, cleaning, and setting the table in anticipation. In addition, our families are generally eating healthier, more balanced meals if we are preparing them at home, especially if the chef keeps nutrition in mind. Here is a great article from an LDS magazine about nurturing through family meals.

We took our kids to see Ratatouille last month when it first came out. In the movie, the famous Chef Gustaeu inspires Remy the rat with his mantra, "Anyone can cook!" Now, I know that we all have different talents, and certainly some people will always be able to turn anything into amazing cuisine. However, anyone can cook! There's really not a big mystery to cooking; if you're not very comfortable in the kitchen, just challenge yourself to try a few meals and get more comfortable.

This family dinner doesn't have to be gourmet (but it's OK if it is). Choose a menu that is simple enough that it will not stress you out, that is healthy enough to meet your food values, whatever they may be, and pick a night to make it. Even if you don't enjoy cooking (which may be because you just aren't that good at it yet), think of this as a gift you are giving to your family. Then, either set a goal to make dinner one night a week for a month (if that's more than you are doing now) or a more aggressive one of four nights a week. Or just tell yourself that you are going to make dinner every night for a week and then assess from there. I promise that your family will love it and that the time and effort that you put into it will be worth it.

I remember that when I got married, my friend Erin shared her experience. She decided if she was going to cook for a family for the rest of her life, she was going to be good at it and learn to enjoy it. So she subscribed to Bon Appetit and started learning and trying recipes. I decided to do the same, and am so glad I did. I have since changed out my Bon Appetit subscription for Cooking Light because I just couldn't afford the calories of BA recipes on a daily basis and CL fits my food values better. I have really learned to enjoy the creative aspect of cooking, but mostly I enjoy loving people with good food. So take a chance to show the people that you love most that you value their health, their time with you, and the family dinner ritual.

Here's a summer favorite to get you started:

Grilled Vegetable Penne Salad
This is a great dish to take to a BBQ because it is good hot or cold. Or, pick up a Rotisserie chicken at Costco and serve it with this penne and some fresh fruit for a light summery meal!

• 1 lb penne pasta (I don't like whole wheat for this recipe)
• 2 T. extra virgin olive oil
  
• 2 medium zucchini, cut in bite sized pieces
• 2 medium crook neck squash, cut in bite sized pieces
• 1 pint of grape, cherry, or other small tomatoes
• 1 clove garlic, minced
  
• 1/2 fresh lemon
• 1/4 c. fresh basil, cut in ribbons
• 1/2 lb. (or so) skim milk mozzerella cheese, cut in 1 in. cubes
• 3 T. shaved Parmesan cheese
  
• coarse kosher salt and fresh ground pepper

Cook the pasta al dente--not more. While it is boiling, prepare the vegetables, tossed with garlic, to grill (or broil). Spray them liberally with olive oil spray and sprinkle with kosher salt, then grill on BBQ or roast under the broiler for about 10 minutes, until they begin to brown. Toss together the drained, cooked pasta, the hot grilled vegetables, olive oil, and the mozzerella. The cheese will melt and get gooey.

Squeeze the juice of 1/2 a lemon in, add the basil and Parmesan, and toss again. Season to taste with salt and pepper.